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Has the Jokes thread disappeared?

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  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,104
    @Chizz Please don’t tell me someone else has already posted this 😬


  • iaitch said:
    Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?

    So the can hide upside down in a bowl of custard. 
           First heard that 60+ years ago when I was at school!!
  • Hal1x
    Hal1x Posts: 4,265
    edited February 14
    iaitch said:
    Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?

    So the can hide upside down in a bowl of custard. 
           First heard that 60+ years ago when I was at school!!
    It was so long ago when I first heard it they were Mammoths not Elephants.,
  • iaitch
    iaitch Posts: 10,225
    iaitch said:
    Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?

    So the can hide upside down in a bowl of custard. 
           First heard that 60+ years ago when I was at school!!
    So did I, I'm 69.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783

  • iainambler
    iainambler Posts: 963

    Ain’t that the truth!
  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,022
    Don't get it. What's it mean?

  • ??
  • cfgs
    cfgs Posts: 11,476
    Stig said:
    Don't get it. What's it mean?

    ??
    It looks to be about electric cars and relating it to this famous photo.
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  • cfgs said:
    Stig said:
    Don't get it. What's it mean?

    ??
    It looks to be about electric cars and relating it to this famous photo.
    Is this one of the tricks where a group of you agree to laugh at a given moment about something that isn’t funny to see if you can get someone else to laugh?
  • cfgs said:
    Stig said:
    Don't get it. What's it mean?

    ??
    It looks to be about electric cars and relating it to this famous photo.
    I took it to mean a political stance against Elon Musk (not EVs) represented by his cybercabs on the verge of running over a demonstrator.
  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,022
    cfgs said:
    Stig said:
    Don't get it. What's it mean?

    ??
    It looks to be about electric cars and relating it to this famous photo.
    It does, but what's funny about that?
  • cfgs
    cfgs Posts: 11,476
    cfgs said:
    Stig said:
    Don't get it. What's it mean?

    ??
    It looks to be about electric cars and relating it to this famous photo.
    I took it to mean a political stance against Elon Musk (not EVs) represented by his cybercabs on the verge of running over a demonstrator.
    Could very well be. I guessed it was a reference to the slaughter of students and thought they looked EVish.
  • cfgs
    cfgs Posts: 11,476
    Stig said:
    cfgs said:
    Stig said:
    Don't get it. What's it mean?

    ??
    It looks to be about electric cars and relating it to this famous photo.
    It does, but what's funny about that?
    No idea.
  • Stig said:
    cfgs said:
    Stig said:
    Don't get it. What's it mean?

    ??
    It looks to be about electric cars and relating it to this famous photo.
    It does, but what's funny about that?
    Yes, more witty than funny (but I still liked it).
  • Blackheathen
    Blackheathen Posts: 6,655
    A young blonds from a Manhattan finishing school is so depressed that she decides to end her life by throwing herself in the ocean.

    When she goes down to the docks a handsome sailor notices her tears, takes pity on her, and says “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for.  I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship.  I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day”

    Moving closer, he slips his arm around her shoulder and adds “I’ll keep you happy and you’ll keep me happy”

    The girl nods “What does she have to lose”. That night, the sailor smuggles her aboard and hides her in a lifeboat.  From then on, every night he brings her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit and they make mad passionate love until dawn.

    Three weeks later, during a routine search, she is discovered by the captain.

    ”What are you doing here?” He asks

    ” I have an arrangement with one of the sailors” she explains.

    ”He’s taking me to Europe, and every night he comes down and screws me”.

    ”He sure is, lady’  says the captain.  “This is the Staten Islamd Ferry”.
  • SoundAsa£
    SoundAsa£ Posts: 22,477
    A young blonds from a Manhattan finishing school is so depressed that she decides to end her life by throwing herself in the ocean.

    When she goes down to the docks a handsome sailor notices her tears, takes pity on her, and says “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for.  I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship.  I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day”

    Moving closer, he slips his arm around her shoulder and adds “I’ll keep you happy and you’ll keep me happy”

    The girl nods “What does she have to lose”. That night, the sailor smuggles her aboard and hides her in a lifeboat.  From then on, every night he brings her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit and they make mad passionate love until dawn.

    Three weeks later, during a routine search, she is discovered by the captain.

    ”What are you doing here?” He asks

    ” I have an arrangement with one of the sailors” she explains.

    ”He’s taking me to Europe, and every night he comes down and screws me”.

    ”He sure is, lady’  says the captain.  “This is the Staten Islamd Ferry”.
    This is usually told using the Woolwich Ferry.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783
    iaitch said:
    Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

    So they can hide in cherry trees.

    Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

    No, I rest my case.
    How does an elephant get out of a cherry tree?

    Sits on a leaf and waits till autumn.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783

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  • Ben asks his new girlfriend for a hand job. "I've never done that" she says, "what do I do ?"
    "Well" replies Ben, "remember when you were a kid and you'd shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it ... that's what you do."
    She nods, so he pulls his manhood out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A minute later, he has tears running down his face, snot flowing from his nose and wax flying from his ears. She asks 'Whats wrong ?' Ben cries "TAKE YOUR FUCKING THUMB OFF THE END!"
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783
    cfgs said:
    Stig said:
    Don't get it. What's it mean?

    ??
    It looks to be about electric cars and relating it to this famous photo.
    I read it as more about equating what Musk and Trump are doing in the US to repression in China, than about EVs in general.
  • Did you hear about the Roman cannibal who disliked and ate his wife

    Gladiator
  • IdleHans
    IdleHans Posts: 10,963
    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Benjamin Netanya
  • SoundAsa£
    SoundAsa£ Posts: 22,477
    edited February 17
    IdleHans said:
    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Benjamin Netanya
    Who
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783

    Reading the register on my first day teaching at an RC school.

    "Si-o-ban".  No answer.

    Get to the end.

    "Is there anyone who's name I haven't read?"

    Girl puts her hand up.

    "And what's your name?".

    "Shvaughn, sir".
  • thenewbie
    thenewbie Posts: 11,000
    Why is it that if you donate a kidney you're a hero, but if you donate 5 they call the cops?
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,783
    How’s the diet going?

    Not very well. I had eggs this morning. 

    Scrambled?

    Cadbury’s. 
  • limeygent
    limeygent Posts: 3,217