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Has the Jokes thread disappeared?
Comments
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The phone rings and the wifes answers.
At the other end of the line a perverted voice goes: "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair" - The wife replies... "He's watching TV at the moment, who is calling?"9 -
Wife walks in the room to find her Husband screwing his secretary up the arse... "You cant do this to me", the wife says.
"Its exactly why Im doing it to her" replies the Husband2 -
Someone should give David Beckham a Durex, because it's the only knighthood he'll likely receive.
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Doesn’t really work when you have to explain the punchline.Raith_C_Chattonell said:Someone should give David Beckham a Durex, because it's the only knighthood he'll likely receive.
(Night hood)7 -
That’s terrible .Raith_C_Chattonell said:Someone should give David Beckham a Durex, because it's the only knighthood he'll likely receive.
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I’m spotting a theme @ForeverAddickted1
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A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts “Hey, Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and didn’t pay for your sandwich”.
The panda yells back at the bartender “Hey man, I’m a panda! Look it up”
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:
A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves.4 -
"And don't you dare call me a marsupial."Blackheathen said:A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts “Hey, Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and didn’t pay for your sandwich”.
The panda yells back at the bartender “Hey man, I’m a panda! Look it up”
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:
A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves.0 -
If anyone wants a dead battery, I'm giving one away - free of charge8
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and he will also be knighted.LargeAddick said:
Doesn’t really work when you have to explain the punchline.Raith_C_Chattonell said:Someone should give David Beckham a Durex, because it's the only knighthood he'll likely receive.
(Night hood)0 - Sponsored links:
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Trump invites a mate to take a punt on a L1 London club.0 -
"I'm going to win a second term as President".usetobunkin said:Trump invites a mate to take a punt on a L1 London club.
"Oh, my aching sides".0 -
Christmas has barely gone they’ve already got the Valentine’s stuff in the shops … 😱
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Just heard I didn’t get the job I applied for in the sandwich factory as the rolls already been filled.12
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Am so excited... I've finally got my first job as an Actor in the porn industry and what's more... the woman playing the "wife" is really hot too - Although seems I'm the Husband that leaves home before the plumber arrives!!8
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well that was a bit of an anti-climax!ForeverAddickted said:Am so excited... I've finally got my first job as an Actor in the porn industry and what's more... the woman playing the "wife" is really hot too - Although seems I'm the Husband that leaves home before the plumber arrives!!2 -
I was having hot steamy sex when my Mum's sister walked in on us. Bloody Auntie Climax.4
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We all want to hear what happened next.Stig said:I was having hot steamy sex when my Mum's sister walked in on us. Bloody Auntie Climax.0 -
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Had to pull out quick, she was with her friend Curtis Interruptus.AddicksAddict said:
We all want to hear what happened next.Stig said:I was having hot steamy sex when my Mum's sister walked in on us. Bloody Auntie Climax.1 -
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Which famous person does this duck remind you of?AddicksAddict said:10 -
Oh no. Please no.Arsenetatters said:
Which famous person does this duck remind you of?AddicksAddict said:1 -
Eddie the Eagle?Arsenetatters said:
Which famous person does this duck remind you of?AddicksAddict said:1 -
More tiresome jokesFumbluff said:
Eddie the Eagle?Arsenetatters said:
Which famous person does this duck remind you of?AddicksAddict said:
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Eddie SkidFumbluff said:
Eddie the Eagle?Arsenetatters said:
Which famous person does this duck remind you of?AddicksAddict said:0 -
The family's just found out our grandad's addicted to Viagra.
Nobody's taking it harder than our nan.14 -
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Tesla factory in Berlin.7
