A priest, a rabbit, and a mullah walk into a bar. The priest asks “What will you have?”, the mullah asks for an orange juice and the rabbit says “No idea, I’m only here because of autocorrect”.
A Blond, A Brunette, and a Redhead are walking down the street
The brunette says "Look over there! That guy has like 2 dozen roses in his hand!" The redhead says "OMG, that's my husband! I'm gonna have my legs in the air for a week!" The blond says "Why don't you buy a vase?"
A Yeoman Warder was conducting a tour of the Tower of London. As usual the group he escorting was made up of several nationalities. A majority of the group hailed from the USA, and his “killer “ line was “If it wasn’t for the English you would be speaking French or Spanish” normally met a chuckle from the group, however a quick witted American response was, ”And if it wasn’t for the US, you would be speaking German or Russian”!
A Yeoman Warder was conducting a tour of the Tower of London. As usual the group he escorting was made up of several nationalities. A majority of the group hailed from the USA, and his “killer “ line was “If it wasn’t for the English you would be speaking French or Spanish” normally met a chuckle from the group, however a quick witted American response was, ”And if it wasn’t for the US, you would be speaking German or Russian”!
I hope he's still chained to the wall in the Bloody Tower.
Son: Dad, why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Well son, it’s an anagram of Easter and we know how much your mum loves Easter Son: Thanks Dad Dad: Don’t mention it, Alan
Son: Dad, why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Well son, it’s an anagram of Easter and we know how much your mum loves Easter Son: Thanks Dad Dad: Don’t mention it, Alan
I’m awful at anagrams and this took ages. My Dad’s name is Alan and I’ve been trying to work out one with my own name.
My friend asked me "You're being offered £25k but if you accept it, the person you hate most in the world will get £50k. Do you take it?" Me: "Of course! Why wouldn't I want £75k?"
I got into the elevator on the first floor and pressed 5. The doors closed and the elevator went up to floor 4, then down a floor to 3, then 2, before it finally went back up and stopped on the 5th floor. Confused, I walked out and it was only then that I noticed the sign on the door:
Comments
- Excuse me, but can you tell me how to pronounce the name of this place?
- Sure. It's pronounced Burr-Gerr-King.
The brunette says "Look over there! That guy has like 2 dozen roses in his hand!" The redhead says "OMG, that's my husband! I'm gonna have my legs in the air for a week!" The blond says "Why don't you buy a vase?"
A Yeoman Warder was conducting a tour of the Tower of London.
As usual the group he escorting was made up of several nationalities. A majority of the group hailed from the USA, and his “killer “ line was “If it wasn’t for the English you would be speaking French or Spanish” normally met a chuckle from the group, however a quick witted American response was,
”And if it wasn’t for the US, you would be speaking German or Russian”!
Who's there
Dishes
Dishes who
Dishes Sean Connery
Dad: Well son, it’s an anagram of Easter and we know how much your mum loves Easter
Son: Thanks Dad
Dad: Don’t mention it, Alan
He said “watch repair shop”
But I don’t have a tv
Me: "Of course! Why wouldn't I want £75k?"
She had some rubbish argument saying that it wasn't natural, as she was trying to examine me at the time!!