Has the Jokes thread disappeared?

Swindon_Addick

One from Bluesky

DaveMehmet

AddicksAddict

A priest, a rabbit, and a mullah walk into a bar. The priest asks “What will you have?”, the mullah asks for an orange juice and the rabbit says “No idea, I’m only here because of autocorrect”.

Swindon_Addick

A tourist ordering a meal in Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch. 

- Excuse me, but can you tell me how to pronounce the name of this place?

- Sure. It's pronounced Burr-Gerr-King.

Hal1x

Swindon_Addick said:

A tourist ordering a meal in Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch. 

- Excuse me, but can you tell me how to pronounce the name of this place?

- Sure. It's pronounced Burr-Gerr-King.

AddicksAddict

If thieves wear sneakers, and artists wear Sketchers, should speech writers wear Converse?

ForeverAddickted

A Blond, A Brunette, and a Redhead are walking down the street

The brunette says "Look over there! That guy has like 2 dozen roses in his hand!" The redhead says "OMG, that's my husband! I'm gonna have my legs in the air for a week!" The blond says "Why don't you buy a vase?"

usetobunkin

I am told this is a true story.

A Yeoman Warder was conducting a tour of the Tower of London.
As usual the group he escorting was made up of several nationalities. A majority of the group hailed from the USA, and his “killer “ line was “If it wasn’t for the English you would be speaking French or Spanish” normally met a chuckle from the group, however a quick witted American response was,
”And if it wasn’t for the US, you would be speaking German or Russian”!

AddicksAddict

AddicksAddict

ForeverAddickted

There was an English cat named OneTwoThree and a French cat named UnDeuxTrois in a sinking boat

The OneTwoThree cat swam to safety but the UnDeuxTroi cat sank.

ForeverAddickted

Did you hear they found a mummy in Egypt that was covered with chocolate and nuts?

It was Pharaoh Roche

Hal1x

usetobunkin said:

I am told this is a true story.

A Yeoman Warder was conducting a tour of the Tower of London.
As usual the group he escorting was made up of several nationalities. A majority of the group hailed from the USA, and his “killer “ line was “If it wasn’t for the English you would be speaking French or Spanish” normally met a chuckle from the group, however a quick witted American response was,
”And if it wasn’t for the US, you would be speaking German or Russian”!

 I hope he's still chained to the wall in the Bloody Tower.

AddicksAddict

ForeverAddickted said:

There was an English cat named OneTwoThree and a French cat named UnDeuxTrois in a sinking boat

The OneTwoThree cat swam to safety but the UnDeuxTroi cat sank.

If OneTwoThree swam to safety it was probably Turkish, a Van, not English.