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Has the Jokes thread disappeared?

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  • ArsenetattersArsenetatters
    SuedeAdidas said:

    Just googled him. Apparently got 2 years in prison for burgling Paul Young’s house. Weird guy.
  • soapboxsamsoapboxsam
    edited February 7
    Arsenetatters said:
    SuedeAdidas said:

    Just googled him. Apparently got 2 years in prison for burgling Paul Young’s house. Weird guy.

    I don't watch anything he's been on but with all the advertising of future programmes it's impossible to escape him.
    Campo Gino robbed Paul Young's London flat when he was 21 and stole two Guitars worth 4k and other items.

    Why wasn't the scumbag deported ?

    That is a JOKE but I'm not surprised.
  • AddicksAddictAddicksAddict

  • CarltonAthleticDanceCarltonAthleticDance
    Arsenetatters said:
    SuedeAdidas said:

    Just googled him. Apparently got 2 years in prison for burgling Paul Young’s house. Weird guy.
    Maybe with his poor English he took the lyrics ‘wherever I lay my hat, that’s my home’, literally.
  • ForeverAddicktedForeverAddickted
    edited February 7
    I went to the Pharmacy and asked to buy some condoms.

    Cashier says: "Just a minute"

    "Yeah I think thats the name of the brand" I replied
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  • FumbluffFumbluff
    AddicksAddict said:

    I’ve not seen Danny Baker for ages
  • AddicksAddictAddicksAddict
    You are accused of witchcraft, in that you did turn our magistrate into a toad. How do you plead?

    Not guilty. I actually meant to turn him into a turd.

    Then mayhap you should have used spellcheck.
  • StigStig
    ForeverAddickted said:
    My wife said to me: "You havent heard a word I've just said have you"

    I thought it was a really strange way to start a conversation...
    Thanks, I'm forever being told that. Gonna use that one.
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  • seth plumseth plum
    When I was in school, and we were doing the letter of the day, and this day was the letter 'N'. I was mucking about in class, as usual, and the teacher said to me "Why don't you tell the rest of the class something you're not very good at that starts with the letter N." I said "Spelling."
  • StigStig
    seth plum said:
    I hate Russian dolls.
    Little bastards are full of themselves.
    Very clever!
  • seth plumseth plum
    What did Hannibal say when he saw his elephants coming over the mountains after a very hard slog?
    He said "Look there are my lovely elephants".
    But what did he say when he saw them come over the 
    mountains with sunglasses on  ?...........Nothing because he didn't recognise them.
  • seth plumseth plum
    How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?

    Trick question, they only use gas lighting.
  • seth plumseth plum
    edited February 11
    PERSON A: What do you do for a living?
    PERSON B: I hunt and kill aliens.

    A: What? Aliens don't exist!
    B: Have you never seen one?
    A: No.
    B: You're welcome!
  • AddicksAddictAddicksAddict
    How can you tell when an elephant’s been in your fridge?

    There are elephant footprints in the butter.
  • Swindon_AddickSwindon_Addick

  • iaitchiaitch
    Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

    So they can hide in cherry trees.

    Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

    No, I rest my case.
  • iaitchiaitch
    Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?

    So the can hide upside down in a bowl of custard. 
  • ForeverAddicktedForeverAddickted
    Thought about seeing Oppenheimer at the cinema when it came out, stood in line even... But then I heard it was three hours long, not to mention I was starving. 

    So went to the Barbie-Queue instead
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