Has the Jokes thread disappeared?

_MrDick

Tough run of fixtures for Enya Rugby club....

Sale (A)

Sale (A)

Sale (A)

Taxi_Lad

seth plum said:

Why do Geordies like shopping at budget German supermarkets?

Because they’re open Aldi

That made me laugh a Lidl 

limeygent

_MrDick

Had a very strange night down the pub last night . I’d only been there five minutes when this fella walked in with a Prawn Cocktail on his head and that was just for starters.

_MrDick

I hate elevator music .. It's wrong on so many levels.

ForeverAddickted

What does Santa call it when he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobic

ForeverAddickted

Whats worse than waking up having been drunk to find a dick drawn on your face... Finding out that it was traced

seth plum

Mrs P has just texted me to say she’s leaving because I’m "so condescending.”

To be honest, I was surprised she could even spell it!

seth plum

I'm writing a book about a zombie darts player who lives in the Caribbean. 

'One undead in Haiti' is the working title.

seth plum

What did the cockney say when his third child was born second?

"You're out of order son."

seth plum

The tuba is a relatively recent instrument, its predecessor was the oneba.

seth plum

My friends are shocked when they find out I’m not an electrician…

Solidgone

Bring back the jokes thread! 🤓

limeygent

AddicksAddict

AddicksAddict

LargeAddick

What did one plate say to the other? Dinners on me.

usetobunkin

seth plum

I played football yesterday on a pitch surfaced with compacted rubble and broken bricks.

We won 5-4 on aggregate

seth plum

I organised an exhibition of paintings and sculptures, in order to raise money for the legal fund of my friend Arthur. It was art for Art’s sake.

seth plum

I applied to adopt a horse but the council rejected me.

They said I couldn't offer a stable environment.

seth plum

How much does a rainbow weigh?



I don’t know but it’s pretty light.

seth plum

I was just on my way back from the shops and I prevented a kidnapping!

There he was just dozing off in his little pram, so I prodded him and said "Oi you wake up!"

AddicksAddict

AddicksAddict

_MrDick

I just found out my wife's laptop password is MickeyMiniDonaldHueyLouieDeweyPlutoGoofyDublin.

I asked her why it was so long and she said it had to be eight characters and a capital.

_MrDick

This Christmas, Santa has retired Rudolph from guiding his sleigh. It will now be Olive..... you know, the other Reindeer.

🦌

Hal1x

_MrDick said:

This Christmas, Santa has retired Rudolph from guiding his sleigh. It will now be Olive..... you know, the other Reindeer.

🦌

eh?

IdleHans

Olive the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names...

I got it, but I didn't laugh 

Hal1x

IdleHans said:

Olive the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names...

I got it, but I didn't laugh 

I didn't get it, now I do and I just feel a bit sad- for shame _MrDick