I asked someone how deep the ford was, he said about an inch, so I drove in and flooded the engine. I was fuming. "How can you say it's only an inch?". "Well, it only comes up that far on the ducks!".
My doctor told me something really strange after listening to my chest with his stethoscope. He said what I'd thought was wheezing was actually faint guitar music. An X-ray later showed I had some very small shadows on my lungs.
Comments
Three golf clubs walk into a bar.
The putter ordered a beer, the pitching wedge ordered a gin & tonic.
The barman asked the third one if he wanted anything,
He replied “No thanks, I’m the driver”.
When it's a ajar.
Monopolopolopoly
1 - My dick is the exact length of two pens from William Hill betting shops
2 - I am banned from all William Hill betting shops
Lovely guy. Terrible anaesthetist.