12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on TV and Radio ...
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator – 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'
New Zealand Rugby Commentator – 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'
Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator – 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'
Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 – 'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..'
US PGA Commentator – 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ........ Oh my god !! What have I just said??'
Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too because they were laughing so hard!
Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'
Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '
Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'
Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'
David Coleman is the master, although they tended to be clean rather than double entendres.
"Steve Ovett, with the whole world in front of him, comes in eighth".
"Very soon, we'll be having the pole vault over the satellite".
This one is associated with him "and there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class" but it's actually Ron Pickering.
David Coleman is the master, although they tended to be clean rather than double entendres.
"Steve Ovett, with the whole world in front of him, comes in eighth".
"Very soon, we'll be having the pole vault over the satellite".
This one is associated with him "and there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class" but it's actually Ron Pickering.
Yes, hence Private Eye coining the phrase "Colemanballs".
A woman was very concerned that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr Chang.
So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said, 'OK take off all your crose.'
The woman did a s she was told.
'Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.'
Again the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said 'OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.'
So she did.
Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said 'Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary diease.
Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.'
Worried the woman asked anxiously 'Oh my god, Dr Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease ?'
Dr Chang sighed deeply and replied 'Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look edzachary like your ass.
A woman was very concerned that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr Chang.
So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said, 'OK take off all your crose.'
The woman did a s she was told.
'Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.'
Again the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said 'OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.'
So she did.
Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said 'Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary diease.
Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.'
Worried the woman asked anxiously 'Oh my god, Dr Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease ?'
Dr Chang sighed deeply and replied 'Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look edzachary like your ass.
Have you heard about the joke where a manager selected a team with one CB, no strikers , a keeper who can't catch a cold let alone a ball and expected to keep a clean sheet and win ?
A woman was very concerned that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr Chang.
So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said, 'OK take off all your crose.'
The woman did a s she was told.
'Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.'
Again the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said 'OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.'
So she did.
Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said 'Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary diease.
Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.'
Worried the woman asked anxiously 'Oh my god, Dr Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease ?'
Dr Chang sighed deeply and replied 'Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look edzachary like your ass.
A woman was very concerned that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr Chang.
So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said, 'OK take off all your crose.'
The woman did a s she was told.
'Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.'
Again the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said 'OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.'
So she did.
Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said 'Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary diease.
Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.'
Worried the woman asked anxiously 'Oh my god, Dr Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease ?'
Dr Chang sighed deeply and replied 'Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look edzachary like your ass.
Seth Plum will NOT be laughing (I thought it was quite funny though)
Comments
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator – 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'
"Steve Ovett, with the whole world in front of him, comes in eighth".
"Very soon, we'll be having the pole vault over the satellite".
This one is associated with him
"and there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class"
but it's actually Ron Pickering.
waiting for a tickle.
A Chinese guy taking the piss out of various English accents.