[cite]Posted By: Elthamaddick[/cite]People who get on a half empty train when there are loads trying to cram on behind and immediately stand right by the doors
People who walk slowly
People who drive slowly
People who listen to music on their mobile....on speaker
my list could be endless....
Don't suppose you're a bird Eltham? I think if you are we could be very happily married!
Also agree with Middle Lane Drivers - hanging's to good for them.
Modern Management Terminologly - my boss thinks it's perfectly alright to use the term "blue sky thinking" - it isn't. Also, just finished filling in my annual appraisal (sorry, Performance Management Report). It's full of rubbish about Competencies and Behaviours, makes my blood boil.
Late trains - from the start of October to the end of March, every year without fail, my morning train from New Cross to London Bridge is late. Sometimes 1 minute, sometimes 10, but everyday without explanation or apology. This is not good enough.
It changes week by week. At the moment it's the BBC tennis coverage. Why do you always have to see shots of the players' "connections" in the stands. You know, the Williams sisters' Mum's best friend's cousin's baby sitter. Who cares. You watch a footie match on the telly they don't show us a shot of Wayne Rooney's mother-in-law do they? Formula 1 is going the same way - I'm really not that interested in Lewis Hamilton's bint. OK, that's a lie but how thick did she seem when they interviewed her? Could you really stand that going on in your ear for more than [insert your own timescale here].
Rant over, I'll get my coat....
people who become experts or fans of sports overnight.
Prime example:
2008 wimbledon final when everyone suddenly knew the ins and out of tennis and watched the greatest sporting spectacle they've ever seen (or watched their first tennis match).
People who talk by waving their hands around, particularly when they are sat next to me on the train but having a conversation with a someone halfway up the carriage.
People that stand at crossings waiting for the light to change but don't bother to press the little button.
Horrible dog owners that don't pick up their pets crap so that walking anywhere further than your front door becomes like navigating a minefield.
[cite]Posted By: SantaClaus[/cite]I hate England flags with company logos on them.
Mine is England flags with anything on it apart from the red cross on white background.
Also disability fascists in mobility scooters who think that they have the right of way to bomb down the pavement in their motorised Davros chariots. If you say anything to them they pull the "I'm disabled" card.
People who stand chatting in shop doorways.
Shop assistants who do not greet, thank and then say goodbye to customers.
Stuff that comes in oversized boxes (steady! - that's not what I meant) or that is ridiculously over packaged.
The sound of coin spinning to a stop on any given surface. I-T-M-A-K-E-S-M-E-W-A-N-T-T-O-K-I-L-L.
Idiots who have their keypad sound enabled when texting/calling. Why? Just, why?
Bad breath. There's absolutely no reason on gods clean earth why you can't avoid it.
Looking for and not finding something on a shelf in B&Q then asking a store person if they have said item in stock only for them to go and look EXACTLY where you just did. DOYOUTHINKIMTHATFRIKKINSTUPIDTHATIDIDNTLOOKTHEREINTHEFIRSTPLACEARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
Graham Norton/Alan Carr/That one off Strictly. There's no reason to be that gay and camp. If you are, fine, there's just no need to be THAT gay and camp. Ok?
Liars.
Gastropubs. What the XXXX is a Gastropub? Bell-ends.
Lizzy Greenwood Hughes Steve Claridge (aside from these two, i quite like the Football League Show, Rosenior is ok as is Manish) Andy Townsend David Pleat infact itv football coverage in general
Simon Jordan David Sullivan MK Dons in general- especially Pete Winkelman
Traffic Wardens Jobs Worths Piers Morgan Amanda Holden Peter Andre/Jordan
rubbber necking twats who hold up the traffic on either side of the motorway so they can have a good look at the flashing lights and smashed up cars that have been involved in an acccident and caused the 2 hour delay to my journey ... just farking drive on you stupid carnts
people who follow like sheep,particularly those who go around with logos on their chest like "abercrombie & fitch" who sound like an estate agent. why o f@cking why?
Estate Agents Travel Agents Cold callers Mong heads who don't shut my garden gate when they had to open the shitting thing to get down my garden to post a arsewipey takeaway leaflet though the letterbox Anyone who can't fit a vehicle into a parking bay of proportionate size Bin men Nightclub security staff Masses watching football or boxing in a pub near me (similar to the man who didn't like the tennis overnight experts) Mincers Men who straighten their hair Women who shout/cry for attention when drunk Middle lane drivers Tailgaiting Drifting at roundabouts Checkout staff seemingly racing the chip & pin machine to say 'enter your PIN please' Using the term 'PIN number' what the fuck do you think the N stands for? Fishing for sympathy Parking on grass Male bar staff Millwall Tottenham Ignorance of ones own poor driving ability People who dodge rounds People who are old enough and medically fit to drive who don't have a licence, yet expect lifts Vegetarians Those who look to find offence in any given statement or situation Banks Politicians
[cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]Estate Agents
Travel Agents
Cold callers
Mong heads who don't shut my garden gate when they had to open the shitting thing to get down my garden to post a arsewipey takeaway leaflet though the letterbox
Anyone who can't fit a vehicle into a parking bay of proportionate size
Bin men
Nightclub security staff
Masses watching football or boxing in a pub near me (similar to the man who didn't like the tennis overnight experts)
Mincers
Men who straighten their hair
Women who shout/cry for attention when drunk
Middle lane drivers
Tailgaiting
Drifting at roundabouts
Checkout staff seemingly racing the chip & pin machine to say 'enter your PIN please'
Using the term 'PIN number' what the fuck do you think the N stands for?
Fishing for sympathy
Parking on grass
Male bar staff
Millwall
Tottenham
Ignorance of ones own poor driving ability
People who dodge rounds
People who are old enough and medically fit to drive who don't have a licence, yet expect lifts
Vegetarians
Those who look to find offence in any given statement or situation
Banks
Politicians
Worryingly for you, they're pretty close to mine. I've got about eight thousand more, like - but they're definitely all on me list.
umbrellas
those small suitcases that people drag around behind them
people who walk along reading books/papers
mobile phones
those jeans that ride around under peoples arses
decorating
People who have dirty dark brown pisses in a toilet (not urinal) and don't flush
Screwed up kitchen roll/tissue
Dog shit on football pitches/pavements
Children in pubs after 2pm (more so parents who go on all dayers and leave their vermin offspring unattended in pubs)
PR's
Peugeots, Citroens, Renaults and Chryslers
'The School Run' - now this is possibly the single reason, more so than games consoles, why the UK has such high childhood obesity
Sunbeds
Fat women
Mobility scooters
People who are intolerrant of other peoples cultures
Belgians
The Dutch
The French
Kwik Fit/Chain garages/main dealers
Being corrected in a pub that serves Pepsi instead of Coke
Thick people hiding behind Dyslexia (an actual, outright insult to those who suffer from it without bringing the matter up at every opportunity)
Petrol station cashiers on a go slow
People who come up to me when I DJ and ask for 'something for the old ones' or when asking for a song trying to sing it
Weddings
Horses on main roads
The fat, opera singing slug from the go compare adverts
Wimbledon fortnight
Eastenders/Coronation Street
Britains got Talent/The X factor (in medievel times, townsfolk used to bring out the mentally afflicted to be pointed at and laughed at. Oh how we've moved on)
Non-Irish drinking Guinness on March 17th for 'the craic'
Cod in Sauce
KFC
Morris Dancers
[cite]Posted By: oohaahmortimer[/cite]rubbber necking twats who hold up the traffic on either side of the motorway so they can have a good look at the flashing lights and smashed up cars that have been involved in an acccident and caused the 2 hour delay to my journey ... just farking drive on you stupid carnts
People who just don't get it that rubber necking is an entirely natural response. It's the most interesting thing most people will see all day - of course they want to look.
Comments
Don't suppose you're a bird Eltham? I think if you are we could be very happily married!
Also agree with Middle Lane Drivers - hanging's to good for them.
Modern Management Terminologly - my boss thinks it's perfectly alright to use the term "blue sky thinking" - it isn't. Also, just finished filling in my annual appraisal (sorry, Performance Management Report). It's full of rubbish about Competencies and Behaviours, makes my blood boil.
Late trains - from the start of October to the end of March, every year without fail, my morning train from New Cross to London Bridge is late. Sometimes 1 minute, sometimes 10, but everyday without explanation or apology. This is not good enough.
Rant over, I'll get my coat....
Prime example:
2008 wimbledon final when everyone suddenly knew the ins and out of tennis and watched the greatest sporting spectacle they've ever seen (or watched their first tennis match).
People who talk by waving their hands around, particularly when they are sat next to me on the train but having a conversation with a someone halfway up the carriage.
People that stand at crossings waiting for the light to change but don't bother to press the little button.
Horrible dog owners that don't pick up their pets crap so that walking anywhere further than your front door becomes like navigating a minefield.
Mine is England flags with anything on it apart from the red cross on white background.
Also disability fascists in mobility scooters who think that they have the right of way to bomb down the pavement in their motorised Davros chariots. If you say anything to them they pull the "I'm disabled" card.
Shop assistants who do not greet, thank and then say goodbye to customers.
Stuff that comes in oversized boxes (steady! - that's not what I meant) or that is ridiculously over packaged.
Buses that are supposed to run every 10-12 minutes, take 25 mins to arrive and then wait at every stop for 2-3 mins to "regulate the service".
Music outloud via a mobile phone.
Bar staff who have no comprehension of who has been waiting longest and just serve the person directly infront of them.
Slippers.
The e-harmony advert. Especially the couple who look like brother & sister.
Crazy delivery windows. 7am - 10pm etc.
Idiots who have their keypad sound enabled when texting/calling. Why? Just, why?
Bad breath. There's absolutely no reason on gods clean earth why you can't avoid it.
Looking for and not finding something on a shelf in B&Q then asking a store person if they have said item in stock only for them to go and look EXACTLY where you just did. DOYOUTHINKIMTHATFRIKKINSTUPIDTHATIDIDNTLOOKTHEREINTHEFIRSTPLACEARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
Graham Norton/Alan Carr/That one off Strictly. There's no reason to be that gay and camp. If you are, fine, there's just no need to be THAT gay and camp. Ok?
Liars.
Gastropubs. What the XXXX is a Gastropub? Bell-ends.
I could go on all night...
Typing a long sentence then looking up to find you had caps lock on.
That utterly banal emails segment on the Football League show.
Steve Claridge (aside from these two, i quite like the Football League Show, Rosenior is ok as is Manish)
Andy Townsend
David Pleat
infact itv football coverage in general
Simon Jordan
David Sullivan
MK Dons in general- especially Pete Winkelman
Traffic Wardens
Jobs Worths
Piers Morgan
Amanda Holden
Peter Andre/Jordan
Bowling shoes
Fat Boy Eastenders
logos on their chest like "abercrombie & fitch" who sound like an estate agent. why o f@cking why?
Travel Agents
Cold callers
Mong heads who don't shut my garden gate when they had to open the shitting thing to get down my garden to post a arsewipey takeaway leaflet though the letterbox
Anyone who can't fit a vehicle into a parking bay of proportionate size
Bin men
Nightclub security staff
Masses watching football or boxing in a pub near me (similar to the man who didn't like the tennis overnight experts)
Mincers
Men who straighten their hair
Women who shout/cry for attention when drunk
Middle lane drivers
Tailgaiting
Drifting at roundabouts
Checkout staff seemingly racing the chip & pin machine to say 'enter your PIN please'
Using the term 'PIN number' what the fuck do you think the N stands for?
Fishing for sympathy
Parking on grass
Male bar staff
Millwall
Tottenham
Ignorance of ones own poor driving ability
People who dodge rounds
People who are old enough and medically fit to drive who don't have a licence, yet expect lifts
Vegetarians
Those who look to find offence in any given statement or situation
Banks
Politicians
those small suitcases that people drag around behind them
people who walk along reading books/papers
mobile phones
those jeans that ride around under peoples arses
decorating
thought she looked hot tonight on Britain's Lack of Talent.
And the Welsh
Screwed up kitchen roll/tissue
Dog shit on football pitches/pavements
Children in pubs after 2pm (more so parents who go on all dayers and leave their vermin offspring unattended in pubs)
PR's
Peugeots, Citroens, Renaults and Chryslers
'The School Run' - now this is possibly the single reason, more so than games consoles, why the UK has such high childhood obesity
Sunbeds
Fat women
Mobility scooters
People who are intolerrant of other peoples cultures
Belgians
The Dutch
The French
Kwik Fit/Chain garages/main dealers
Being corrected in a pub that serves Pepsi instead of Coke
Thick people hiding behind Dyslexia (an actual, outright insult to those who suffer from it without bringing the matter up at every opportunity)
Petrol station cashiers on a go slow
People who come up to me when I DJ and ask for 'something for the old ones' or when asking for a song trying to sing it
Weddings
Horses on main roads
The fat, opera singing slug from the go compare adverts
Wimbledon fortnight
Eastenders/Coronation Street
Britains got Talent/The X factor (in medievel times, townsfolk used to bring out the mentally afflicted to be pointed at and laughed at. Oh how we've moved on)
Non-Irish drinking Guinness on March 17th for 'the craic'
Cod in Sauce
KFC
Morris Dancers
My finger up his arse!
People who just don't get it that rubber necking is an entirely natural response. It's the most interesting thing most people will see all day - of course they want to look.
Absolute quality :-)
People that sniff incessantly. Just blow your nose. Simple.
People spitting. Scum.
Footballers nicknames. i.e Lamps, Crouchy, etc. Mugs.
People that arks you a question. You give them a 100% correct answer, then they go and arks someone else. ARRRGGGHHHH!!!