SouthEastern this Morning

ForeverAddickted

There is a trespasser on the line @ Woolwich Arsenal so trains are being delayed @ Dartford as they either go down a different line or are delayed

(Im coming from Gravesend and wanted to go Woolwich yet my train is going fast to London Bridge with no stops)

Plumstead_Micky

Apparently that trespasser was on the line at 5.30am, but they still didn't know where he was by 7.20, so the station recommended we use the Bexleyheath line. I wonder if they'll find him before tonight's rush hour..

ForeverAddickted

lol! thats just a joke... Took me two hours to get to Stratford this morning after taking the train non-stop from Dartford to London Bridge and then on to the Jubilee Line.

Very disappointing from SouthEastern that they didn't let people use the High Speed

AllLeftFoot

Apparently a man in a tree near Charlton station.

Wondering if it's the same bloke that had the police helicopter out at about 2.30 this morning looking for a burglary suspect on the railway track.

Baldybonce

AllLeftFoot said:

Apparently a man in a tree near Charlton station.

Wondering if it's the same bloke that had the police helicopter out at about 2.30 this morning looking for a burglary suspect on the railway track.

on the branch line?

JollyRobin

Lawrie Wilson's still on a bender after last nights result then.

Riscardo

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/11405431.Charlton_burglary_suspect_hiding_in_tree_closes_Woolwich_Arsenal_station_and_causes_Southeastern_chaos/?ref=twtrec

Hes still in the tree

Curb_It

Most read story on that website... jesus. Then the final indignity of being named and shamed in a local rag.

Rizzo

Run the fucker over. Or shoot him out of the tree and then run him over.

ForeverAddickted

Nah cut the three down... Claim it needed doing and that they unfortunately didnt notice the poor man sitting up there... Enough witnesses (and police) to back the tree cutter's story

ValleyGary

or fire a vibrator up his 'arris

Brendan_O_Connell

ForeverAddickted said:

Nah cut the three down... Claim it needed doing and that they unfortunately didnt notice the poor man sitting up there... Enough witnesses (and police) to back the tree cutter's story

No, because then the innocent tree suffers.

NomadicAddick

Riscardo said:

Hes still in the tree

I reckon it's David Blaine.

colthe3rd

ValleyGary said:

or fire a vibrator up his 'arris

Not sure whether that is supposed to get him down or off.

Huskaris

He should have to stand at every affected station with a sign saying "I am the guy who messed up your commute on 13/08/14"

The middle class tutting at Westcombe Park alone would deafen him.

Huskaris

ValleyGary said:

or fire a vibrator up his 'arris

Thought this was a very weird thing to say, then I went on the News Shopper website and I am cracking up.

Poor guy though, maybe they shouldn't have named him.

stoneroses19

So one guy kept me awake last night while a helicopter chased him and then this morning a ton of police cars and ambulances arrive at bottom of my road Incase he falls out of a tree.
Why can't people go and find a job rather than stealing from others.

Ormiston_Addick

ValleyGary said:

or fire a vibrator up his 'arris

I read that story, I just can't decide if its tragic or hilarious.

A friend of mine was an A&E Nurse and she said the things that people would stick up their arses were unbelievable.

One bloke came in with an entire Orange up his arse and claimed he fell down the stairs after getting out of the bath and "landed on the fruit bowl."

Shag

Maybe the bloke up the tree is Andy Delort ?

Brendan_O_Connell

Ormiston Addick said:

ValleyGary said:

or fire a vibrator up his 'arris

I read that story, I just can't decide if its tragic or hilarious.

A friend of mine was an A&E Nurse and she said the things that people would stick up their arses were unbelievable.

One bloke came in with an entire Orange up his arse and claimed he fell down the stairs after getting out of the bath and "landed on the fruit bowl."

It's the truth I tell ya, my wife put the fruit bowl at the bottom of the stairs and I fell down them later that evening.

The banana and the grapes were eaten by the hamster, but it didn't like the taste of the orange!

The Red Robin

ForeverAddickted said:

There is a trespasser on the line @ Woolwich Arsenal so trains are being delayed @ Dartford as they either go down a different line or are delayed

(Im coming from Gravesend and wanted to go Woolwich yet my train is going fast to London Bridge with no stops)

It's Simon Church still celebrating from last night and telling the trains to Shhhhhh.

ValleyGary

I heard it was Bikey walking home and they've stopped all services to protect the trains safety.

Heath Hero

Ormiston Addick said:

ValleyGary said:

or fire a vibrator up his 'arris

I read that story, I just can't decide if its tragic or hilarious.

A friend of mine was an A&E Nurse and she said the things that people would stick up their arses were unbelievable.

One bloke came in with an entire Orange up his arse and claimed he fell down the stairs after getting out of the bath and "landed on the fruit bowl."

I was at a pub quiz once where one of the rounds was identifying from x-ray pictures the particular items which had been inserted up someone's backside. A Buzz Lightyear toy is the one that seems to stick in my memory.

ValleyGary

Heath Hero said:

Ormiston Addick said:

ValleyGary said:

or fire a vibrator up his 'arris

I read that story, I just can't decide if its tragic or hilarious.

A friend of mine was an A&E Nurse and she said the things that people would stick up their arses were unbelievable.

One bloke came in with an entire Orange up his arse and claimed he fell down the stairs after getting out of the bath and "landed on the fruit bowl."

I was at a pub quiz once where one of the rounds was identifying from x-ray pictures the particular items which had been inserted up someone's backside. A Buzz Lightyear toy is the one that seems to stick in my memory.

"To the intestines…and beyond!"

Macronate

Heath Hero said:

Ormiston Addick said:

ValleyGary said:

or fire a vibrator up his 'arris

I read that story, I just can't decide if its tragic or hilarious.

A friend of mine was an A&E Nurse and she said the things that people would stick up their arses were unbelievable.

One bloke came in with an entire Orange up his arse and claimed he fell down the stairs after getting out of the bath and "landed on the fruit bowl."

I was at a pub quiz once where one of the rounds was identifying from x-ray pictures the particular items which had been inserted up someone's backside. A Buzz Lightyear toy is the one that seems to stick in my memory.

do you still get a Woody thinking about it?

cafctom

Ormiston Addick said:

ValleyGary said:

or fire a vibrator up his 'arris

I read that story, I just can't decide if its tragic or hilarious.

A friend of mine was an A&E Nurse and she said the things that people would stick up their arses were unbelievable.

One bloke came in with an entire Orange up his arse and claimed he fell down the stairs after getting out of the bath and "landed on the fruit bowl."

My whole office has just asked me why I've spent the last 30 seconds howling with laughter. Thank you.

Leuth

I was taking a slash and that sheep backed onto me! Repeatedly!

The_President

ValleyGary - i' read your comment 10 mins ago - and i'm still pi55ing myself at work - my colleagues are wondering why i'm bursting out with spontanoeus laughing.

MCS

Big question is, is the barst still there?

Curb_It

No he is still up there!

ForeverAddickted

Really hope that he's got one of three things now (Or ideally all three)

(1) Is Hungry
(2) Needs the Toilet
(3) Has an itch he cant get to because if he tries he falls out the tree