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Best nicknames you've ever heard

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  • Went to college with a guy his mates called "Bollock".

    He had the other one removed when he was a kid!
  • Got a work colleague with the surname Blackwell so his nickname is Tunnel.
  • Mate whose surname is Hilton has always been called Paris

    Seemed to be a high number of Jack's at my work gaff, I used to work on a team where there was quite a long hours demanding role done on just an 8 month basis, the boss said he could never be bothered to learn a new name every 8 months so just called whoever did the job Jack as that was the name of the first one who did it
  • our Sunday team centre forward years ago used to be called 'jigsaw' cause he fell to pieces in the box

    We had a jigsaw.

    We also had a player called 'Haka' as whenever he got into a bit of beef he used to start hitting himself / beating his chest
  • Because I'm really tall and skinny every used to call me Crouchie (no other reason as I look nothing like the bloke)

    Used to go to a lot of England matches and even people who didnt know me would come up to me claiming I was Peter Crouch (a few blokes got on an Underground train with me once and tried to get me to sign their programme).

    Funnily met the real Peter Crouch at Kings Cross a good few years ago, bloke is a lot taller than even me!!
  • Paul Linger was known as Cloughie for his resemblance to Nigel Clough.

    I know a guy called 'Arch'. I can't remember his real name but he's called Arch because when he was a teenager he was the only one of his group of friends who went to a particular school, Archbishop Tenison.

    Lazy Daisy, NightMiere. No explanation needed.
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  • Karl Malone the former basketball great was called The Mail Man as he always delivered
  • Used to work with a bloke named Bates, everyone used to call him Master!
  • edited January 2017
    LouisMend said:

    A kid who I went to scouts with was named Kofi by his parents who were Ghanaian so we all called him Decaf

    Good job it wasn't 'Latte'.
  • I used to be really shy as a kid, so when I was about 10/11 and moved from Bromley to the countryside I struggled to make friends so my parents decided to enroll me to the local U12 football team.

    Unfortunately I wore my Charlton kit. Being so shy and having not revealed my name, I was given the nickname 'Redbus'. 4 years that bloody name stuck.

    You're lucky not to get a flag for "Unfortunately I wore my Charlton kit.". Think how lucky you were, you could have been called Fads, Mesh or Viglen.
  • Just remembered another one from Sunday league - we had two Nigerian students called Obi on the team, so they were 'Obi 1' and 'Obi Twice'.

    Surely should have been Obi1 and Kenobi. We subbing them "Come in Obi 1 Kenobi"

    Will get my coat
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  • Played football with a striker called Trigger - not because he was good in front of goal, he couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo. He had a cock the size of a horse
    Fella I used to get the bus with had nicknames for loads of the regulars who got the same bus - a woman who used to stomp up and down the bus when she got on or off was called Boom Boom, a man who had most of one of his fingers ripped off in an accident was called Four & Half, another bloke who stank like he lived in a pub was called Beer & Fags
    Worked with a fat bloke years and years ago who made the mistake of going to a fancy dress party as Charlie Chaplin - and was subsequently called Oddjob until he left
    Bloke who used to drink in a pub I frequented in West Norwood was called Paddy Wakely, nickname was NikNak (as in paddy whack)
  • Had an ex-boss whose nickname was Sinex

    Got up your nose for 8 hours and stayed there!
  • I used to play for Blackheath Athletic, The Three Tonnes, The princess of Wales and The Crown in the earl;y 80's. We had a slightly overweight player called Phil and if he ran around too much he used to go a bit purple. Hence he became known as Purple Phil. My nickname at that time was Ridders coz of my family name.
  • An unpopular manager at work surname 'Head' was referred to as 'gives good' by the staff.
  • We had an apprentice years ago who we called OJ because he lied so much like OJ Simpson did
  • A gag in Phoneix Nights always make me smile. Brian discussing a mate called sushi

    Who came the response

    you know Roy Fish
  • Geyser I used to work with was called windsock
    Another fella called acid cos his surname is house
    bloke at work called Ive , cos hes a got a massive hooter ( Ivor Bigun )
    Various others for birds at work etc swampbeast , galen , dumptruck and my favourite BIG TITS
  • Someone I know had a work colleague they used to call Johnny Cold Hands because he always used to walk about with his hands in his pockets.
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