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Best nicknames you've ever heard

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  • Neil Pointon was widely referred to as disa in his Everton days. 
  • "Borrowed" these ones from the Internet, but our boss has 2 nicknames. Pothole, because we all try to avoid him, and The Paramedic, because he turns up, stitches everyone up, then disappears. 
  • Simonsen said:
    Bob Cunt 
    He was a wrong un along with his twin brother. They were known as 2 Bob Cunts.
    Think the sister worked at Billingsgate, she was called ‘fishy’
  • Bloke at the golf club regularly drops out of four balls at the last minute - he’s known as ‘Bareback’ as he’s always pulling out. Another notorious cheat at the club is known as ‘Sat Nav’ as he always manages to locate seemingly lost balls.
  • Saw a tweet a couple of weeks ago suggesting one of the best nicknames ever. Guy he worked with was called Wayne Bruce and his nickname was Manbat.
    This has had me absolutely creasing up 😂😂
  • https://youtu.be/fdeNjU3S0X4

    Some good ones on here. Last one is the best.

    Kid who went to my school was accused of masterbating in class once. Surname was Atkins but forever known as Splatkins after that.
  • Quote from above:

    ''Had an ex-boss whose nickname was Sinex
    Got up your nose for 8 hours and stayed there''

    Think I know this bloke, was a director of Printing firm in South London.
    Also known as ''Twitch'' because of dodgy eye affliction - Horrible bastard!
  • A few from me. One of our 5-a-side group, a friend of a friend, is known as Sharky. I asked my friend why - he said that, on a lads holiday 30 years ago, the guy came past swimming on his back. Someone commented that his large nose looked like a shark's fin and he has been Sharky ever since.

    One of the professional staff where I worked in the 1980s was known as "Wing-Commander" by the general office staff, because of his dapper moustache. Which was fine, until a new girl went into his office and addressed him as such!

    Someone else I worked with was named John and his surname started with B, so I dubbed him "Sloop" and that stuck.
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  • Mate of mine was called Trunky by his Mrs.... I'll leave you to work that out. 

    I had a few nicknames at school, Soupdragon, Rod and Hermit. 

    Bumped into Peter Robson nickname was "Pop" at the Valley around 2007/8 and he yelled out Oi Hermit.... hadn't heard that for 40 odd years. 

    Soupdragon and Hermit were from my teen fishing days holed up in my tent living off of nothing but soup. 

    Rod was because one fella thought I looked like Rod Stewart... unfortunately he wasn't the only one who thought it. I got followed around Brick lane market by some girls until one asked me to sign an autograph. Never could see it myself. 
  • Guy I knew asked a rather large lady for a dance and later admitted: “I had to stretch to get my arms around her.”
     Known as Stretch ever since.
  • There is a well known vagrant who menaces the people of Chatham high street by approaching with insane eyes and a toothy smile (toothy soon to become tooth smile) asking to borrow a "pand bruv" his name is Billy Deo and was christened Billy the Quid in the early 2000s as he sunk into the heroin caused hole of sadness and depravity. 

    Anyone who knows who I am talking about may or may not be shocked to know 25 years ago he was a massive man, actually quite an intimidating figure with a lot of stories to tell who has lived through some trauma that in time got the better of him and made him the wretched abomination he is today and has been for 20 years. His story reminds me of Gollum 
  • Not a nickname but i worked with a lady called Heidi Pamphlett.  Still makes me snigger 35 years later.
  • CafcWest said:
    I once worked with 2 guys - both called Ian Johnson...except one was Scottish so his first name was spelt in the Scottish way - Iain..so we nicknamed the English guy "one eyed Johnson".

    Similar story, worked with a girl called Karin once (Charlton fan might even be on CL). She was known as Karin with one i.
  • Carter said:
    There is a well known vagrant who menaces the people of Chatham high street by approaching with insane eyes and a toothy smile (toothy soon to become tooth smile) asking to borrow a "pand bruv" his name is Billy Deo and was christened Billy the Quid in the early 2000s as he sunk into the heroin caused hole of sadness and depravity. 

    Anyone who knows who I am talking about may or may not be shocked to know 25 years ago he was a massive man, actually quite an intimidating figure with a lot of stories to tell who has lived through some trauma that in time got the better of him and made him the wretched abomination he is today and has been for 20 years. His story reminds me of Gollum 
    Yep been asked for a quid by him on many an occasion.
  • Mate of mine had FWB as it were his nickname for her was Butterhead…we were wondering why,he said,that she has a wicked body “but her head” 
  • CafcWest said:
    I once worked with 2 guys - both called Ian Johnson...except one was Scottish so his first name was spelt in the Scottish way - Iain..so we nicknamed the English guy "one eyed Johnson".

    Similar story, worked with a girl called Karin once (Charlton fan might even be on CL). She was known as Karin with one i.

  • Not a nickname but i worked with a lady called Heidi Pamphlett.  Still makes me snigger 35 years later.
    When I was teaching, there was a girl in my year 7 class called Mercedes Lorry.
  • Sex case for more than a few school teachers was one that springs to mind.
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  • Not sure if I have previously posted this, but had a very tall bloke at work called Peter.
    More affectionately known as, two meter Peter.
  • A messenger at work came over to tell me about a new bloke working with him who had a massive head. 

    “We’re all calling him big head” he told me. 

    Genius. 
  • "Shithouse" Brian Clough's nickname for Mark Crossley (You Tube)
  • A messenger at work came over to tell me about a new bloke working with him who had a massive head. 

    “We’re all calling him big head” he told me. 

    Genius. 
    genius? surely obvious?
  • Two Steves frequent the village pubs. One drinks Stella (to monstrous excess) and is thus referred to as Stella Steve. The other is called Sticky Steve because his last name is Glew.
  • A bloke who mumbles - camel toe. You can see the lips move but you can't understand what he's saying.
  • Fella at high school was known as Toucan. Because two cans of lager and he was a wreck. 
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