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Best nicknames you've ever heard

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  • Robbo on the wing
    Robbo on the wing Posts: 4,135
    Knew a bloke who was going bald but kept his pony tail to disguise this fact.
    Known as "the crafty comber"
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,633
    25May98 said:

    lordromford said:

    stockportaddick said:

    When I left school my foreman was was Harry Blades and had the obvious nickname 'razor'

    On another note, my granddad died when I was in my late 40's. I had only ever known him as Jack but at his funeral the priest started the service by calling him John, I was astounded that for nearly 50 years I had never known his true name. I very nearly bollocked the priest for getting his name wrong!! Evidently, in years gone by, swapping John for Jack was commonplace

    I believe it still is.
    Quite a few names have shortenings/alternatives that were tweaked in the past and, as a result, they don't quite match.
    Examples being:
    Robert:Bob
    John:Jack
    Henry:Harry/Hank
    Richard:Dick
    William:Bill
    James:Jim
    Edward:Ted/Ned
    Katherine:Kitty
    Elizabeth:Bess/Libby

    But my favorite:
    Margaret:Peggy

    I mean, wtf? How'd they come up with that?
    My wife is Sarah and she tells me that the name Sally was originally an alternative to Sarah until it became a name in its own right.

    I'm a John and fully aware of the 'Jack' alternative. I did used to get very confused as a five year old when an old Irish lady always called me Sean.
    Sean is Irish for John.
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,856
    Have got a mate called Shagger.

    She doesn't like it
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,856
    MrOneLung said:

    Have got a mate called Shagger.

    She doesn't like it

    Thank you Jimmy Carr.
  • SoundAsa£
    SoundAsa£ Posts: 22,480
    Swisdom said:

    A guy at work is called Marmite because people either love him or hate him

    I call him Tampax - they are both stuck up cun....

    I'll stop there

    Charming!
  • Redskin
    Redskin Posts: 3,113
    We had a chain-smoking Spanish teacher whose fingers were ugly reminders of his habit and was known as Goldfinger.
    My favourite was a Chemistry teacher who was 6 foot four and had a thick head of bright ginger hair: Towering Inferno.
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,954
    Reminds me, we gad a Physics teacher at school who had a goatee and neck/shoulder length hair.

    Got called several things by the kids - Jesus, Shakespeare and Robin Hood. My favourite was the time somebody had snuck in and written "Robin Hood - Prince of Physics" on his blackboard.
  • church-lane
    church-lane Posts: 935
    Redskin said:

    We had a chain-smoking Spanish teacher whose fingers were ugly reminders of his habit and was known as Goldfinger.
    My favourite was a Chemistry teacher who was 6 foot four and had a thick head of bright ginger hair: Towering Inferno.

    Was that Taffy?
    And wasn't the chemistry teacher Keith Elmett (sic). We had another nickname for him.
  • Redskin
    Redskin Posts: 3,113
    It was Taff, he was a nice bloke; went to Braithwaite with him a couple of times.
    With Keith Elmett, the possibilities were endless...
    Both of them are in the school photo.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,791
    stockportaddick said:

    When I left school my foreman was was Harry Blades and had the obvious nickname 'razor'

    On another note, my granddad died when I was in my late 40's. I had only ever known him as Jack but at his funeral the priest started the service by calling him John, I was astounded that for nearly 50 years I had never known his true name. I very nearly bollocked the priest for getting his name wrong!! Evidently, in years gone by, swapping John for Jack was commonplace

    Have you never heard of Jack Charlton?

    Just after we won the World Cup, I found a cigarette card album with John Charlton in it. I, too, wondered why it said John when everyone called him Jack. Mind you, I was nine, not 40.
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  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,791
    Redskin said:

    We had a chain-smoking Spanish teacher whose fingers were ugly reminders of his habit and was known as Goldfinger.
    My favourite was a Chemistry teacher who was 6 foot four and had a thick head of bright ginger hair: Towering Inferno.

    We had a maths teacher whose surname was Badr, nickname Douglas.
  • McBobbin
    McBobbin Posts: 12,051
    We had a teacher with a beard everyone called Jesus, even the other teachers. Not to his face of course.

    Same went for the deputy head, Teddy Ruxpin
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Had a 'Grand a week' on a site back in the 00's, a fella who wouldn't shut up about the amount of dough he reckoned he was earning on a previous job.
  • Redskin
    Redskin Posts: 3,113
    My father taught in a local school in Kwe Kwe, Zimbabwe after he retired, and taught children with the names - their real names, not nicknames - Water Coolant; Fire-Engine; Sixpence; Never Again; Grand Master Plan and Good Lunch.
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,633
    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    Had a 'Grand a week' on a site back in the 00's, a fella who wouldn't shut up about the amount of dough he reckoned he was earning on a previous job.

    Loads of money?
  • Acab
    Acab Posts: 725
    A cabbie we knew didn't want a nickname. So he became 'no nickname'.
  • palarsehater
    palarsehater Posts: 12,296
    1st day at college i had quite a bastard haircut pretty bowl shaped, got called mushroom head, shortened to mushroom or mush, still sticks saw a mate from college about a month ago and he just shouted out mushroom across the pub.
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,223
    A friend of a friend was called Salad.

    He was fat.
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,223
    Last year I randomly bumped into a guy who I hadn't seen in 10 years who I knew from Hong Kong. He was with his new wife and I was with Ian but excruciatingly I couldn't remember his real name.. and I just couldn't bring myself to introduce him as the Mansfield Mincer! Very awkward.
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,601
    Curb_It said:

    Last year I randomly bumped into a guy who I hadn't seen in 10 years who I knew from Hong Kong. He was with his new wife and I was with Ian but excruciatingly I couldn't remember his real name.. and I just couldn't bring myself to introduce him as the Mansfield Mincer! Very awkward.

    Are you saying you couldn't remember Ian's name?
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  • SWEnglandAddick
    SWEnglandAddick Posts: 877
    A guy I went to school with was fat so naturally he got named skinny, still gets called it now, or skin.
  • SoundAsa£
    SoundAsa£ Posts: 22,480
    AddicksAddict said:

    stockportaddick said:

    When I left school my foreman was was Harry Blades and had the obvious nickname 'razor'

    On another note, my granddad died when I was in my late 40's. I had only ever known him as Jack but at his funeral the priest started the service by calling him John, I was astounded that for nearly 50 years I had never known his true name. I very nearly bollocked the priest for getting his name wrong!! Evidently, in years gone by, swapping John for Jack was commonplace

    Have you never heard of Jack Charlton?

    Just after we won the World Cup, I found a cigarette card album with John Charlton in it. I, too, wondered why it said John when everyone called him Jack. Mind you, I was nine, not 40.
    I've got a cigarette card with Robert Charlton on it!
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    SWEnglandAddick said:

    A guy I went to school with was fat so naturally he got named skinny, still gets called it now, or skin.

    A bloke I drank with in The Oak up Widmore Road called everyone Fat Boy, regardless if you were fat or not, "Alright Fat Boy?"
  • eaststandmike
    eaststandmike Posts: 14,956
    I belong to a forum connected to the football club I support and there is a guy on there that has so many nicknames its hilarious.

    I think his proper name is cabbles.........?
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    eaststandmike said:

    I belong to a forum connected to the football club I support and there is a guy on there that has so many nicknames its hilarious.

    I think his proper name is cabbles.........?

    Cobblers
  • ken_shabby
    ken_shabby Posts: 6,256
    There was a Carry On film (Up the Jungle) where Sid james indacates with his head to a skeleton in the corner of a room and says 'that's the last doctor'.

    A very thin girl I knew spent years being called 'the last doctor' by some carry-on film fans I knew, without ever knowing why.
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Robbo on the wing said:

    Knew a bloke who was going bald but kept his pony tail to disguise this fact.
    Known as "the crafty comber"

    Initials MR?
  • Algarveaddick
    Algarveaddick Posts: 21,156
    Had a teacher at Middle School who had bad acne scars, he was known as "planish".
    Mate of mine is Johnny Onespeed. No matter what he is doing it's always at about 20% slower than anyone else.

    Here's the ultimate nickname guide:

    http://mymusiconearth.blogspot.pt/2012/02/greg-davies-nicknames.html
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,954
    Algarveaddick said:

    Had a teacher at Middle School who had bad acne scars, he was known as "planish".
    Mate of mine is Johnny Onespeed. No matter what he is doing it's always at about 20% slower than anyone else.

    Here's the ultimate nickname guide:

    http://mymusiconearth.blogspot.pt/2012/02/greg-davies-nicknames.html

    The comments section of that video on YouTube has a bloke called Hugh Campbell who gets called Huge Cumball.

    Amazing.

    Mumbo was brilliant too.
  • lolwray
    lolwray Posts: 4,902
    maybe a bit un pc but about 40 years ago i played football with a jamaican guy who was known as alcock and brown

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