The flights between Jersey and Guernsey could be fun when the weather was a bit rough, they are tiny planes.
First time I flew on one, the pilot was handing round what I thought were sweets but were actually ear plugs. I was sat directly under the wing next to the engine and the bloody thing was deafening.
Didn't help that I was hanging from the previous night.
Was strange having the pilot turn round and talk to passengers during the flight.
You don't appear to get reclining seats on shorter haul flights now, but in the back days when you did, we sat across the aisle on a Ryanair flight from an obnoxious arsehole who kept lifting his tray up and down much to the annoyance of the bloke in the seat in front.
The bloke in front was keeping his cool quite well. When food was served the obnoxious ah ordered half a bottle of red wine. We could see what was coming next.
The guy in front waited until he settled and then made a great heave and pushed his seat right back, throwing the wine all over the arsehole.
'Oh sorry mate' he said.
Great show!
BTW that was our one and only Ryanair flight. Never again.
No excuses for bad behaviour but let's not forget the thousands who go by plane after a few drinks and don't cause problems. My mate is a nervous flyer and can't get on the plane without several whiskies beforehand.
I don't understand people who get pissed to get on a plane, unless it's to counter nerves or anxiety. Apart from standard airport pints I don't think I've ever been drunk on a plane.
The flights between Jersey and Guernsey could be fun when the weather was a bit rough, they are tiny planes.
First time I flew on one, the pilot was handing round what I thought were sweets but were actually ear plugs. I was sat directly under the wing next to the engine and the bloody thing was deafening.
Didn't help that I was hanging from the previous night.
Was strange having the pilot turn round and talk to passengers during the flight.
I did a light aircraft flight with about 7 of us onboard. I was fortunate to get the copilot's seat and was beyond excited when halfway through he turned to me and told me to take hold of the joystick (fill yer boots smut merchants) and let me have control for a little bit. Basically gave me a 15 minute free flying lesson in a passenger plane.
In fairness it was in Australia which probably tells you all you need to know about his approach to health & safety.
I don't understand people who get pissed to get on a plane, unless it's to counter nerves or anxiety. Apart from standard airport pints I don't think I've ever been drunk on a plane.
Same here......getting rat arsed on a plane (particularly long hall), is a recipe for a really shyte hang over coupled with a lousy dose of dehydration.
Probably the worst place to have a hangover is on a plane. I went on a bender the night before traveling to Australia and I was ruined for most of the flight. If you are that desperate for a drink at 6am then you must be an alcy.
If travelling with mates will always have a drink at silly o'clock in the morning. It is to toast your trip or holiday. Doesn't mean we are desperate for a drink or or alcoholics. Also doesn't mean will be loud and throwing up on the plane.
No excuses for bad behaviour but let's not forget the thousands who go by plane after a few drinks and don't cause problems. My mate is a nervous flyer and can't get on the plane without several whiskies beforehand.
To be honest I used to have a good booze up at sully o clock when going away with the chaps but one flight to the canary islands ended that forever. I've never needed to piss so badly and was sat right at the very front where the stewardesses were sat for take off and I had my eyes scrunched shut and was arcing my back, gripping the arm rests until my knuckles had gone white and my hands were shaking. They asked my missus if I was a nervous flyer and she just told them I was busting for a gage. They said I couldn't use the toilet until the seat belt signs were off, in the end I had to leg it with one of them holding onto me else I would have pissed myself. It was a really rough ascent too and they didn't take the lights off for about an hour.
Other than that I like to have a couple of strong drinks early on the flight to help me sleep and have full use of the facilities
Watched the Panorama one. Told my assistant about it next day, as she was previously 17 years as purser on Czech Airlines. She said that in her experience it was a uniquely British thing. ..
I dunno, the Saudis and Libyans have been known to play up on the odd flight n'all.
Not quite running with the topic but here goes, Got to Stansted airport Sunday morning. After queuing for quite some time got to the baggage/ticket person. Gave her 4 passports and printed boarding passes. Told me the suitcase was 2kg over. Slung 2 kg in hold-all and reweighed suitcase. She then asks for my passport. Tell her it was with other three. She insists it wasn't. My daughter asks if she can look under her desk as we was all adamant they were together. She says no. Daughter uses phone flashlight and informs her it is actually down the side of the baggage conveyer adjacent to her. 30 mins later an engineer strips down conveyer to remove my passport. No apology whatsoever. Absolute bitch of a woman. Rush to departure to be given a lecture of turning up late for a departure. In case you are wondering? RYANAIR. Never again.
I was queuing to board a flight Sunday morning at Stansted, the line was not moving, looked like a family of four at the from giving the poor ticket person some grief. Next thing we all know a couple of engineers turn up and start stripping the luggage conveyor.
Turns out the bloke of the family dropped his passport into the conveyor mechanism, no doubt he was pissed
I was queuing to board a flight Sunday morning at Stansted, the line was not moving, looked like a family of four at the from giving the poor ticket person some grief. Next thing we all know a couple of engineers turn up and start stripping the luggage conveyor.
Turns out the bloke of the family dropped his passport into the conveyor mechanism, no doubt he was pissed
Did he apologise to the people behind in the queue?
Probably the worst place to have a hangover is on a plane. I went on a bender the night before traveling to Australia and I was ruined for most of the flight. If you are that desperate for a drink at 6am then you must be an alcy.
You can say that again. The amount of times I've been ill on a flight home from excess the night before. Nothing worse for me (or the other passengers) yet I never learn.
Probably the worst place to have a hangover is on a plane. I went on a bender the night before traveling to Australia and I was ruined for most of the flight. If you are that desperate for a drink at 6am then you must be an alcy.
You can say that again. The amount of times I've been ill on a flight home from excess the night before. Nothing worse for me (or the other passengers) yet I never learn.
For me, it's the mucking about beforehand. Having to be out of a hotel room really early, sitting normally boiling externally and internally, the titting about at check in, waiting for a gate, waiting to board. Once on the plane I'm happy to sleep off the most monstrous of hangovers and wake up wherever I'm landing feeling like I've been teleported. Then the hell begins again with the mincing around to get through passport control claim baggage whilst watching every arsehole disrespect the yellow line and stand on the conveyor belt. Eventually reclaim luggage, clear customs, fresh air and the journey homeward bound
My worst experience (all self inflicted so no sympathy expected):
Was in Montenegro the day after watching England away in 2011 and had an early flight back the following day. Most England fans had left by this point but we got into a sesh during the day with some stragglers like us. Went back to the apartment about 6ish at which point I should have thought about the flight the next day and seen sense, but no.....a quick shower and change into our finery and out we go again. Now this turned into a proper good night out, the photos from which tell me we ended up in a nightclub in a cave, luckily, as my I lost most the nights memory. Anyway me and my mate somehow got back in about 4am and hit the hay, of course without setting an alarm!!
Now here is where we had some luck, I woke up being sick, which also woke my mate up. I think we'd still be sleeping now without that. My puke, resulted in my mate also puking (so me in the toilet, him in the sink) at which point we realised it was 8.15am and our flight was at 10am.
You've never seen two pissed/hungover people move so quickly, as we chucked everything in our bags, ran outside and (via a cash machine) tried to hail a cab. Next bit of luck, there was one and the traffic was on our side and we got to the airport 50mins before flight, straight through security and to the waiting area! Pure relief.
And then the adrenaline disappeared and it kicked in instantly - the hangover from hell!!
I was standing in the toilet cubicle at the airport, sweating my arse off with a hand on each side of the cubicle as I felt the floor was moving. The queue to board was the longest 10mins of my life before getting on the plane.
Then it got worse, it got hot, very hot, like it often does before you start moving so I got the bag ready and bang!! Violent sick into the bag and filled up in no time. A generous man three seats away passed me his bag and that was also party filled. My mate was holding his nose praying he wouldn't go the same way. So there we are, not even taken off and I've filled two bags - the actual flight was the longest of my life but somehow I wasn't sick again. The relief when we landed and then got out into the fresh air was incredible.
Then we walked through the car park at stanstead, headed for my car, opened my bag, ruffled around and then it dawned on me like a smack in the chops......in our haste to leave, I'd left my keys in the microwave in the appartment!!!!
The worst experience I've had was in Virgin's Upper Class cabin on a flight back from Vegas with the newly married Ross Kemp/Rebekah Wade and all their hangers-on. Low-life scum doesn't come into it - the state of the cabin after the flight defies description. At that time Kemp was playing Grant Mitchell. Now while I'm not a violent man I really did have a strong desire to deck him on the way off.
As for restricting booze on flights, no. I'm with David "52 Stubbies" Boon on that one.
My thoughts exactly. I don't think restricting booze on flights would go down very well with the Aussie cricket team.
The only time I ever watched Boon play was at the SCG when he was struggling to get back into the Test team, pushing back maiden over after maiden over. We left after a couple of hours. He was a much better drinker than batsman in my opinion.
I can pick a particular one for a hangover, in fact hangover doesn't do it justice. Last night of a holiday with my best pal and I got utterly, totally put of my mind. Managed to keep on pushing through drinking with a load of people in a blokes bar which he was about to have taken from him by the authorities and we absolutely drank it dry. Gotta be out of the room at 10am got back to the hotel about half past 10am, flight isn't until 8pm. Jesus, that was a long day. Got booted out if the hotel for sleeping in the lobby, thought I shat myself in the can to the airport. Shakes set in at the airport which we had a good 7 hours to kill in, my mates patience with me ran out and god bless him he slapped enough sense into me to clear check-in and sit outside on a sun terrace overlooking the runway where I continued to basically leak foul odour from every orifice and pore until it was plane time. Got on the plane and fell into a deep sleep only to be again the victim of a slap attack as the last person on the plane to get off.
WC Gernany 06 - we went out to Frankfurst for the first game without tickets and being young, stupid and skint we booked a 6am flight back to London for the next morning and skipped on a hotel. We'll just stay out and find somewhere to sleep rough we naively thought.
What of course actually happensd was we got smashed and found the latest drinking establishments going until we had to leave for the airport at 4am.
Got train to airport, checked in, through security and to loads of empty seats by our gate - job done!!
So as I woke up I was struck by the silence first of all. I nudged my mate and said shit look at the time, it was the exact time of our flight. We got up and legged it to the desk and asked the lady if we could still get on our flight, hoping the last people had just gone through the gate.
"What, that flight?" she said in the driest tone, as she pointed out the window to a plane just leaving the ground!! Our hearts sank.
I needed to get back asap as I had an accountancy exam the following morning and needed to be studying. The only flight with a spare seat in the next 15 hours was a first class one, so I had to stump up over £300 and flew first class, with all the German businessman, looking and smelling like a tramp. Even the German next to me laughed when I used the posh hot towel they give out to clean my reebok classics.
I remember my Dad muttering "you fucking idiot" and being distinctly unimpressed when I rang to break the news.
My mate waited hours and got a flight to France and Eurostar back for a slightly cheaper price.
We always set alarms since then, even if we feel wide awake.
Watched the Panorama one. Told my assistant about it next day, as she was previously 17 years as purser on Czech Airlines. She said that in her experience it was a uniquely British thing. ..
I dunno, the Saudis and Libyans have been known to play up on the odd flight n'all.
It was quite clearly stated on Panorama that is was not exclusively a British problem, Germans just as bad one airline said.
Watched the Panorama one. Told my assistant about it next day, as she was previously 17 years as purser on Czech Airlines. She said that in her experience it was a uniquely British thing. ..
I dunno, the Saudis and Libyans have been known to play up on the odd flight n'all.
It was quite clearly stated on Panorama that is was not exclusively a British problem, Germans just as bad one airline said.
I think if its a tie the Germans will win on Penalties.
If travelling with mates will always have a drink at silly o'clock in the morning. It is to toast your trip or holiday. Doesn't mean we are desperate for a drink or or alcoholics. Also doesn't mean will be loud and throwing up on the plane.
does make me chuckle when the budget airlines ( ryanair, easyjet etc ) are kicking up a fuss if you go on these flights as soon as the seatbelt sign is off its drinks and refreshment trolley, where the alcoholic drinks are heavily marked up, this is where they make there money, then its the duty free shopping and the latest one is fucking scratchards, fortunately the majority of times ive flown with ryanair it has been to dublin so i dont get the full experience of the scratchcard sales, once i had to be in belfast for a wedding and was in majorca at the time, and was on the 11.40pm from majorca to belfast on the 11th july cue a lot of pissed up northern irish kids some singing songs referencing the next days celebrations to make matters worse i couldn't understand much of what was being said, although the highlight were this huge family in front every member was rather large, an announcement came over the plane saying all hot food was half price due to it being the final flight of the day, they misheard and thought it was all food and drink, there was 6 of them and they ordered shit loads thinking it was all half price the bill came to something ridiculous like 150 quid, and the father of the family went fucking nuts. they had been quite irritating for the moment up to that so i just sat back and observed.
Comments
First time I flew on one, the pilot was handing round what I thought were sweets but were actually ear plugs. I was sat directly under the wing next to the engine and the bloody thing was deafening.
Didn't help that I was hanging from the previous night.
Was strange having the pilot turn round and talk to passengers during the flight.
The bloke in front was keeping his cool quite well. When food was served the obnoxious ah ordered half a bottle of red wine. We could see what was coming next.
The guy in front waited until he settled and then made a great heave and pushed his seat right back, throwing the wine all over the arsehole.
'Oh sorry mate' he said.
Great show!
BTW that was our one and only Ryanair flight. Never again.
In fairness it was in Australia which probably tells you all you need to know about his approach to health & safety.
Other than that I like to have a couple of strong drinks early on the flight to help me sleep and have full use of the facilities
Got to Stansted airport Sunday morning.
After queuing for quite some time got to the baggage/ticket person.
Gave her 4 passports and printed boarding passes.
Told me the suitcase was 2kg over.
Slung 2 kg in hold-all and reweighed suitcase.
She then asks for my passport.
Tell her it was with other three.
She insists it wasn't.
My daughter asks if she can look under her desk as we was all adamant they were together.
She says no.
Daughter uses phone flashlight and informs her it is actually down the side of the baggage conveyer adjacent to her.
30 mins later an engineer strips down conveyer to remove my passport.
No apology whatsoever. Absolute bitch of a woman.
Rush to departure to be given a lecture of turning up late for a departure.
In case you are wondering?
RYANAIR.
Never again.
Turns out the bloke of the family dropped his passport into the conveyor mechanism, no doubt he was pissed
Was in Montenegro the day after watching England away in 2011 and had an early flight back the following day. Most England fans had left by this point but we got into a sesh during the day with some stragglers like us. Went back to the apartment about 6ish at which point I should have thought about the flight the next day and seen sense, but no.....a quick shower and change into our finery and out we go again. Now this turned into a proper good night out, the photos from which tell me we ended up in a nightclub in a cave, luckily, as my I lost most the nights memory. Anyway me and my mate somehow got back in about 4am and hit the hay, of course without setting an alarm!!
Now here is where we had some luck, I woke up being sick, which also woke my mate up. I think we'd still be sleeping now without that. My puke, resulted in my mate also puking (so me in the toilet, him in the sink) at which point we realised it was 8.15am and our flight was at 10am.
You've never seen two pissed/hungover people move so quickly, as we chucked everything in our bags, ran outside and (via a cash machine) tried to hail a cab. Next bit of luck, there was one and the traffic was on our side and we got to the airport 50mins before flight, straight through security and to the waiting area! Pure relief.
And then the adrenaline disappeared and it kicked in instantly - the hangover from hell!!
I was standing in the toilet cubicle at the airport, sweating my arse off with a hand on each side of the cubicle as I felt the floor was moving. The queue to board was the longest 10mins of my life before getting on the plane.
Then it got worse, it got hot, very hot, like it often does before you start moving so I got the bag ready and bang!! Violent sick into the bag and filled up in no time. A generous man three seats away passed me his bag and that was also party filled. My mate was holding his nose praying he wouldn't go the same way. So there we are, not even taken off and I've filled two bags - the actual flight was the longest of my life but somehow I wasn't sick again. The relief when we landed and then got out into the fresh air was incredible.
Then we walked through the car park at stanstead, headed for my car, opened my bag, ruffled around and then it dawned on me like a smack in the chops......in our haste to leave, I'd left my keys in the microwave in the appartment!!!!
Why oh why were they in the microwave?
Unfortunately, neither did we!!
Don't have big seshes before early flights people!
We laugh about it now. Well maybe not my other mate, who had to drive up to Stansted with my spare car key!!
The only time I ever watched Boon play was at the SCG when he was struggling to get back into the Test team, pushing back maiden over after maiden over. We left after a couple of hours. He was a much better drinker than batsman in my opinion.
What of course actually happensd was we got smashed and found the latest drinking establishments going until we had to leave for the airport at 4am.
Got train to airport, checked in, through security and to loads of empty seats by our gate - job done!!
So as I woke up I was struck by the silence first of all. I nudged my mate and said shit look at the time, it was the exact time of our flight. We got up and legged it to the desk and asked the lady if we could still get on our flight, hoping the last people had just gone through the gate.
"What, that flight?" she said in the driest tone, as she pointed out the window to a plane just leaving the ground!! Our hearts sank.
I needed to get back asap as I had an accountancy exam the following morning and needed to be studying. The only flight with a spare seat in the next 15 hours was a first class one, so I had to stump up over £300 and flew first class, with all the German businessman, looking and smelling like a tramp. Even the German next to me laughed when I used the posh hot towel they give out to clean my reebok classics.
I remember my Dad muttering "you fucking idiot" and being distinctly unimpressed when I rang to break the news.
My mate waited hours and got a flight to France and Eurostar back for a slightly cheaper price.
We always set alarms since then, even if we feel wide awake.
And I failed...