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Flights from Hell.

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  • cafcfan said:

    Bit of a silly story but it amused me at the time. And it was a flight from hell. Hell in this case being Belfast back when the Europa Hotel was seemingly being bombed on a weekly basis.

    I'd done a job over there with the assistance of some very nice but very heavy drinking members of the RUC (as it then was). This left me with a marginal hangover and 5 of those "Iron Mountain" storage boxes full of evidence which I couldn't risk going astray and certainly wasn't about to check in as hold baggage. I explained this to the very pleasant British Midland (alas no more) check-in agent that this stuff had to stay with me but I wasn't sure it would fit in the overheads.

    She said, no problem, the flight wasn't that busy and allocated me six seats together, five of which I could use to strap my boxes into. In addition she got me on to the flight well before loading so I could get all my boxes strapped into their seats. I then settled down with a nice pre-flight beverage and BM hadn't charged me a penny extra!

    Then another passenger pitched up. It was none other than the now deceased Rev. Ian Paisley with his bodyguards in tow. He was clearly extremely annoyed that a non-VIP passenger had been allowed on the plane before him and started mouthing off to the crew, asking if I had security clearance and how come I'd got a drink already. Paisley going into one of his rants in a small space like a plane was something to behold.

    This is very spooky, i'm reading this while i'm sitting in the bar at Belfast Airport waiting for my delayed flight back to Gatwick, if I sit here for much longer I might be someones "Flights from Hell" story tomorrow. :blush:
  • Flying from Hong Kong to Singapore about 20 years ago, the woman in front lifts her long hair over the seat and drapes it down onto our side, covering the small tv screen in the back of the seat. It was just really weird and we took a couple of minutes to get over our confusion. I didn't want to get involved as it was over my Mrs' seat and probably wasn't going to watch tv anyway. We returned the hair back quite gently only for the woman to start huffing like we'd done something wrong

    I'd have had to f**k around with it. Tie things to it, plait it, cut it etc
  • edited August 2017
    When we went to Prague a couple of years ago, the Stag (I presume), was being led down the plane aisle by his mate.
    The Stag was on all fours and had a collar and lead and was wearing a gimp mask.
  • When we went to Prague a couple of years ago, the Stag (I presume), was being led down the plane aisle by his mate.
    The Stag was on all fours and had a collar and lead and was wearing a gimp mask.

    I just realised that BA have the unspoken customer benefit on this route:

    "You pay a bit more but you don't have to put up with that kind of shite from your fellow passengers"

  • Was on a Vickers Viscount in the 70's when two of the engines failed. My memory says it was a JAT flight, but google doesn't mention them having a Viscount on their fleet when it was the old Yugoslavia.

    I remember thinking what fun as the plane dropped 10,000 feet in about 90 seconds and couldn't understand why so many women were screaming. Best roller coaster ride I'd ever been on.

    I'd probably shit myself now.
  • Remember this BA 747, nearly brought down by a nutter over Africa?

    It took a few weeks for me to learn that a good mate of mine was on the flight. I got to know Tony in Prague, but he is a a Bromley boy, ex Army, and ex special ops in Northern Ireland. One of the nicest blokes you could ever know, but also a supremely disciplined trained killer. He sort of casually dropped the story of the flight into the conversation. I said, bloody hell, that must have been terrifying, and in his typical style he replied "well not really, I was snoozing, and the plane went into a bit of a dive and i thought, hmm, this is interesting". And that's Tony. Just too bad he wasn't in business class, he would have had the guy down in seconds.
  • Remember this BA 747, nearly brought down by a nutter over Africa?

    It took a few weeks for me to learn that a good mate of mine was on the flight. I got to know Tony in Prague, but he is a a Bromley boy, ex Army, and ex special ops in Northern Ireland. One of the nicest blokes you could ever know, but also a supremely disciplined trained killer. He sort of casually dropped the story of the flight into the conversation. I said, bloody hell, that must have been terrifying, and in his typical style he replied "well not really, I was snoozing, and the plane went into a bit of a dive and i thought, hmm, this is interesting". And that's Tony. Just too bad he wasn't in business class, he would have had the guy down in seconds.

    When I saw this on the Documentary I didnt remember it at all with them saying it was the reason that Cockpits became Out of Bounds to passengers... When I heard that I was surprised as thought it was 9/11 that saw the introduction of that rule

    I guess though with both incidents less than a year apart they both had a contributing factor in that rule being passed.
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  • Oh my god. Sounds horrendous Greenie. Id be lucky to fly again.

    A friend has lost the ability to fly nowadays due to anxiety. It really holds her back.

    I used to know a woman who was on this flight... sod that. They held on to the seats in front as people were sucked out.

    http://www.nytimes.com/1989/02/25/us/9-lost-23-injured-as-jet-s-skin-rips-over-pacific.html?pagewanted=all



  • Curb_It said:

    Oh my god. Sounds horrendous Greenie. Id be lucky to fly again.

    A friend has lost the ability to fly nowadays due to anxiety. It really holds her back.

    I used to know a woman who was on this flight... sod that. They held on to the seats in front as people were sucked out.

    http://www.nytimes.com/1989/02/25/us/9-lost-23-injured-as-jet-s-skin-rips-over-pacific.html?pagewanted=all



    It was bloody awful, but I was young so you kind of shrug it off with time, but it was over 4 years before I even thought about flying, ironically I dont think twice about hoping on a plane these days. And ironically 2, my mate who was with me on that flight went on to be a trained parachutist and regularly would sling himself out of perfectly good aircraft.
    I remember the Honolulu one well, I really doesn't think you could be anymore scared than if that happened to you.
  • Curb_It said:

    Oh my god. Sounds horrendous Greenie. Id be lucky to fly again.

    A friend has lost the ability to fly nowadays due to anxiety. It really holds her back.

    I used to know a woman who was on this flight... sod that. They held on to the seats in front as people were sucked out.

    http://www.nytimes.com/1989/02/25/us/9-lost-23-injured-as-jet-s-skin-rips-over-pacific.html?pagewanted=all

    Holy sh*t, I thought that only happened in films!
  • Even before I read @Greenie above, I was reading some of the stories, and thinking, am I just lucky, because I really can't remember the last bad turbulence, and I average about 15 flights a year. I mentioned this to my assistant, the ex purser, and asked if she thinks they have improved the tech that helps them avoid bad weather. She was kind of sceptIcal, and put it down to the route I usually fly, over Northern Europe, not much sea, no mountain range. I dunno. If I am wrong it means I am due a bad one :-( . This is another reason to love Eurostar. Whoever went white with fear on a train? White with rage, maybe....
  • Sounds horrific Greenie. I've encountered a 'go-around' before which was a shock, but it was nowhere near as bad as what you describe.
  • Never had a bad flight, just bad people on the flight (Seat kicking Chavs for a start) - Next flight is in November... Fingers crossed it's a smooth one!
  • When we went to Prague a couple of years ago, the Stag (I presume), was being led down the plane aisle by his mate.
    The Stag was on all fours and had a collar and lead and was wearing a gimp mask.

    This is the sort of behaviour on a plane that I would be dolling out lengthy flying bans for. In what world is it appropriate for someone to do this and think it's acceptable in front of families and children?

    Living in Bournemouth I get to see quite a lot of stag & hens out and about the town including in the past pissed up fat geezers in the full latex bondage gear walking around town on a lead in the early evening. I wouldn't want to have to explain it to a child in those circumstances let alone in an enclosed and dangerous environment like a plane.

    Do what you like in the relative privacy of the pub/strip club/whatever, once you get there but until then keep your gimp gear in your hand luggage!
    On a hen to Beni last year... sadly we had to dress up as policewomen. My friend had her handcuffs confiscated from her hand luggage.
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  • When we went to Prague a couple of years ago, the Stag (I presume), was being led down the plane aisle by his mate.
    The Stag was on all fours and had a collar and lead and was wearing a gimp mask.

    This is the sort of behaviour on a plane that I would be dolling out lengthy flying bans for. In what world is it appropriate for someone to do this and think it's acceptable in front of families and children?

    Living in Bournemouth I get to see quite a lot of stag & hens out and about the town including in the past pissed up fat geezers in the full latex bondage gear walking around town on a lead in the early evening. I wouldn't want to have to explain it to a child in those circumstances let alone in an enclosed and dangerous environment like a plane.

    Do what you like in the relative privacy of the pub/strip club/whatever, once you get there but until then keep your gimp gear in your hand luggage!
    Lol i am sure there will not be many children aboard a plane to prague, kind of expected really :)
  • When we went to Prague a couple of years ago, the Stag (I presume), was being led down the plane aisle by his mate.
    The Stag was on all fours and had a collar and lead and was wearing a gimp mask.

    This is the sort of behaviour on a plane that I would be dolling out lengthy flying bans for. In what world is it appropriate for someone to do this and think it's acceptable in front of families and children?

    Living in Bournemouth I get to see quite a lot of stag & hens out and about the town including in the past pissed up fat geezers in the full latex bondage gear walking around town on a lead in the early evening. I wouldn't want to have to explain it to a child in those circumstances let alone in an enclosed and dangerous environment like a plane.

    Do what you like in the relative privacy of the pub/strip club/whatever, once you get there but until then keep your gimp gear in your hand luggage!
    I bet you'd love this guy.
  • When we went to Prague a couple of years ago, the Stag (I presume), was being led down the plane aisle by his mate.
    The Stag was on all fours and had a collar and lead and was wearing a gimp mask.

    This is the sort of behaviour on a plane that I would be dolling out lengthy flying bans for. In what world is it appropriate for someone to do this and think it's acceptable in front of families and children?

    Living in Bournemouth I get to see quite a lot of stag & hens out and about the town including in the past pissed up fat geezers in the full latex bondage gear walking around town on a lead in the early evening. I wouldn't want to have to explain it to a child in those circumstances let alone in an enclosed and dangerous environment like a plane.

    Do what you like in the relative privacy of the pub/strip club/whatever, once you get there but until then keep your gimp gear in your hand luggage!
    Lol i am sure there will not be many children aboard a plane to prague, kind of expected really :)
    What, you think Prague's only role in the world is a destination for twats on a stag? You think Prague is a child free zone?

    Tell you what, I am all for Brexit now. The Czechs will retaliate to the new British regulations by imposing visa restrictions on stags. Karma.

    I knew you'd be converted in the end :wink:
  • He would have got away with it, if it wasnt for those pesky breeding Czech people.
  • depending on the time of the flights its not that ridiculous for example a 6.30 flight on a friday morning to riga is more likely to be full of stags than any other time, i'm flying out to malta in a couple of weeks on the 6.25am out of gatwick for the england game that particular flight would have more england fans on it than any other flight because of when it is, of course behaviour shouldnt be expected but a bit of common sense, another reason if you wish to go vegas never go thursday morning, as stags use it for there 4 days and to get a weekend in.

    there are also certain places more stags go, im heading to prague with the mrs in november and unfortunately we are on a early morning flight unfortunately its on a friday so probably be rammed with stags although its november so hopefully too cold
  • edited August 2017

    Flying from Hong Kong to Singapore about 20 years ago, the woman in front lifts her long hair over the seat and drapes it down onto our side, covering the small tv screen in the back of the seat. It was just really weird and we took a couple of minutes to get over our confusion. I didn't want to get involved as it was over my Mrs' seat and probably wasn't going to watch tv anyway. We returned the hair back quite gently only for the woman to start huffing like we'd done something wrong

    I'd have had to f**k around with it. Tie things to it, plait it, cut it etc
    You should have applied the law that we have as if you were pruning a neighbours tree that was encroaching your property ......cut it and then put it back over her side of the seat!
  • edited August 2017
    I've recounted this story before here, but I went to China in 1992 for a month and flew Air China! Never again.

    Over the Himalayas we were just admiring the storm below when the plane dropped out of the sky. If you weren't strapped in you hit the roof. The bloke behind me went three rows in front of me and landed on somebody. All the oxygen masks came down, the overhead lockers all opened and everything spilled out. It was bloody carnage.

    Four Hail Marys later, and the pilot managed to get it level again. There were quite a few injuries where people had hit solid objects, and some oxygen was being given to people by the cabin staff.

    I then noticed that some of the Chinese people decided it would be a good idea to light up a fag. (There were only 13 of us westerners on board)

    I don't speak Mandarin, but I think they knew what I meant when I bellowed at them.

    The choice was to put down in Islamabad or carry on another three hours to what was then, Peking. The pilot carried on. The inside of the cabin looked like a teenager's bedroom.

    The bogs had packed up, although people kept on cacking in them. There was no more food, drinks, water or films. A visit to the loo was not on the agenda for the next three hours.

    Glad to say we landed safely, when I started to consider how I would get home from China by train.

    (I didn't in the end)

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