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Flights from Hell.

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    Flying from Hong Kong to Singapore about 20 years ago, the woman in front lifts her long hair over the seat and drapes it down onto our side, covering the small tv screen in the back of the seat. It was just really weird and we took a couple of minutes to get over our confusion. I didn't want to get involved as it was over my Mrs' seat and probably wasn't going to watch tv anyway. We returned the hair back quite gently only for the woman to start huffing like we'd done something wrong

    I'd have had to f**k around with it. Tie things to it, plait it, cut it etc
    You should have applied the law that we have as if you were pruning a neighbours tree that was encroaching your property ......cut it and then put it back over her side of the seat!
    Nah, just keep pulling a single hair out, and then pretend you're asleep.
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    Addickted said:

    Was on a Vickers Viscount in the 70's when two of the engines failed. My memory says it was a JAT flight, but google doesn't mention them having a Viscount on their fleet when it was the old Yugoslavia.

    I remember thinking what fun as the plane dropped 10,000 feet in about 90 seconds and couldn't understand why so many women were screaming. Best roller coaster ride I'd ever been on.

    I'd probably shit myself now.

    I flew JAT to Yugoslavia back in the 70's I think it was Tupolev T54(?) supposedly one of the safest aircraft of the time.

    It had overhead netted racks like you had on the old SE trains.

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    Yea, the Tupolev 154, Balkan Bulgarian had them with the bog curtain and the net rack and smoking on the righr hand side only. Umm, in the entire cabin.

    I grew sort of fond of them but probably only because they delivered me to quite stonking holidays. The pros on rhe flight forums do tend to concede that it is robust. Sort of like a Lada Niva jeep. Needed 3 on the flight deck, I read.

    In the early days of package holidays from
    prague we flew back from Rhodes on an Ilyushin 62. As the "air con" started up, all this dry ice enveloped us. It was like flying on a Pink Floyd stage set.
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    edited August 2017
    I've had a few crackers.

    Aborted landings as others have stated which are an acquired taste. The hardest bit to comprehend is when the captain comes on the tannoy, apologises for failing to land because he can't see the runway/the winds is too strong/whatever reason, and then tells you he's having another go. Yeah cheers mate!

    Flew from Tashkent to Samarkand in 95 in an old Yak 40 held together with sticky tape. If you've never been to Samarkand by the way get it on your bucket list.

    Air India internal flight from Delhi to Jaipur with more livestock than people onboard.

    5 seconds from disaster at Atlanta (the night Giggs scored that goal v Arsenal) when something pierced an engine a nano second after we lifted off and blew the engine up. Thankfully Atlanta has an uber-long runway and we put down, skidded to a sideways halt with flames spewing out and had it extinguished but just about any other airport in the world we'd have kept going and done a Concorde.

    Landed at sumburgh on Shetland which was my first experience of sitting directly behind the wing on a plane landing on a runway that juts out into the sea. I swear I had fishermen on boats looking down at me. Nearly shat myself.
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    When we went to Prague a couple of years ago, the Stag (I presume), was being led down the plane aisle by his mate.
    The Stag was on all fours and had a collar and lead and was wearing a gimp mask.

    This is the sort of behaviour on a plane that I would be dolling out lengthy flying bans for. In what world is it appropriate for someone to do this and think it's acceptable in front of families and children?

    Living in Bournemouth I get to see quite a lot of stag & hens out and about the town including in the past pissed up fat geezers in the full latex bondage gear walking around town on a lead in the early evening. I wouldn't want to have to explain it to a child in those circumstances let alone in an enclosed and dangerous environment like a plane.

    Do what you like in the relative privacy of the pub/strip club/whatever, once you get there but until then keep your gimp gear in your hand luggage!
    Lol i am sure there will not be many children aboard a plane to prague, kind of expected really :)
    Hmm...yeah I always anticipate a pissed up bloke in a gimp mask crawling along the floor on flights. Apologies for my lack of reasonableness.
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    edited August 2017
    I was on a flight to Rimini when the plane couldn't land due to a storm, ran out of fuel and crashed landed in a field. I can't say much more as I was only 6 months old at the time. My father had driven over so we had a car for the holiday - I was deemed too young for the journey and when he went to the airport to pick us up, he was told we had crashed!

    I always say, if you want to get on a plane, get on one with me because because what are the odds of being in two plane crashes? It is wierd but a few years ago coming home from Cuba, plane flew through a big storm and was dropping and rolling all over the place. People on board were screaming but I was enjoying it and was a bit disapointed when we got into clean air - although I was pleased for the upset passengers. It takes a lot to bring a plane down.

    Not dangerous, but I do remember when I was very very young getting on a plane which opened up at the front and took our car. The car was a Rover 2000 and I think we flew to Switzerland and drove on to Italy. I must have been about 4 or 5 at the time but remember bits clearly - like getting in my seat and watching our car being loaded on so clearly. I think it gave me a love of planes having this wonderous experience. I'm 52 now, nearly 53 so was a long time ago!

    Later research has helped me identify the plane as a Bristol Superfrieghter.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_Superfreighter

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    Flying from Hong Kong to Singapore about 20 years ago, the woman in front lifts her long hair over the seat and drapes it down onto our side, covering the small tv screen in the back of the seat. It was just really weird and we took a couple of minutes to get over our confusion. I didn't want to get involved as it was over my Mrs' seat and probably wasn't going to watch tv anyway. We returned the hair back quite gently only for the woman to start huffing like we'd done something wrong

    I'd have had to f**k around with it. Tie things to it, plait it, cut it etc
    We all know what you would've wrapped it around and fucked with it, would've had a wonderful sheen once finished
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    Flying from Hong Kong to Singapore about 20 years ago, the woman in front lifts her long hair over the seat and drapes it down onto our side, covering the small tv screen in the back of the seat. It was just really weird and we took a couple of minutes to get over our confusion. I didn't want to get involved as it was over my Mrs' seat and probably wasn't going to watch tv anyway. We returned the hair back quite gently only for the woman to start huffing like we'd done something wrong

    I'd have had to f**k around with it. Tie things to it, plait it, cut it etc
    We all know what you would've wrapped it around and fucked with it, would've had a wonderful sheen once finished
    Almost the same as conditioner.
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    Flying from Hong Kong to Singapore about 20 years ago, the woman in front lifts her long hair over the seat and drapes it down onto our side, covering the small tv screen in the back of the seat. It was just really weird and we took a couple of minutes to get over our confusion. I didn't want to get involved as it was over my Mrs' seat and probably wasn't going to watch tv anyway. We returned the hair back quite gently only for the woman to start huffing like we'd done something wrong

    I'd have had to f**k around with it. Tie things to it, plait it, cut it etc
    We all know what you would've wrapped it around and fucked with it, would've had a wonderful sheen once finished
    Almost the same as conditioner.
    But more of a bastard to rinse out
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    Done the Australia flight to and from London 3 times in just over 2 years due to close mates deciding to get married the minute I moved to Sydney.

    That flight in itself is hell. Tried everything. Only so much drinking you can do in a 22 hour flight on your own.
    Such a worrying moment getting on that 14 hour leg of the flight with who may be sitting next to you. Mainly screaming babies
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    I've had a few crackers.

    Aborted landings as others have stated which are an acquired taste. The hardest bit to comprehend is when the captain comes on the tannoy, apologises for failing to land because he can't see the runway/the winds is too strong/whatever reason, and then tells you he's having another go. Yeah cheers mate!

    Flew from Tashkent to Samarkand in 95 in an old Yak 40 held together with sticky tape. If you've never been to Samarkand by the way get it on your bucket list.

    Air India internal flight from Delhi to Jaipur with more livestock than people onboard.

    5 seconds from disaster at Atlanta (the night Giggs scored that goal v Arsenal) when something pierced an engine a nano second after we lifted off and blew the engine up. Thankfully Atlanta has an uber-long runway and we put down, skidded to a sideways halt with flames spewing out and had it extinguished but just about any other airport in the world we'd have kept going and done a Concorde.

    Landed at sumburgh on Shetland which was my first experience of sitting directly behind the wing on a plane landing on a runway that juts out into the sea. I swear I had fishermen on boats looking down at me. Nearly shat myself.

    We keep being told that air travel is so safe, it's just that the media love to focus when something goes wrong.

    And then along comes this thread.
    If it hadnt been safe we COULDN'T have this thread.
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    JT said:

    Done the Australia flight to and from London 3 times in just over 2 years due to close mates deciding to get married the minute I moved to Sydney.

    That flight in itself is hell. Tried everything. Only so much drinking you can do in a 22 hour flight on your own.
    Such a worrying moment getting on that 14 hour leg of the flight with who may be sitting next to you. Mainly screaming babies

    Valium is your friend.

    Readily available over the counter in most of S E Asia ;-)
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    I've had a few crackers.

    Aborted landings as others have stated which are an acquired taste. The hardest bit to comprehend is when the captain comes on the tannoy, apologises for failing to land because he can't see the runway/the winds is too strong/whatever reason, and then tells you he's having another go. Yeah cheers mate!

    Flew from Tashkent to Samarkand in 95 in an old Yak 40 held together with sticky tape. If you've never been to Samarkand by the way get it on your bucket list.

    Air India internal flight from Delhi to Jaipur with more livestock than people onboard.

    5 seconds from disaster at Atlanta (the night Giggs scored that goal v Arsenal) when something pierced an engine a nano second after we lifted off and blew the engine up. Thankfully Atlanta has an uber-long runway and we put down, skidded to a sideways halt with flames spewing out and had it extinguished but just about any other airport in the world we'd have kept going and done a Concorde.

    Landed at sumburgh on Shetland which was my first experience of sitting directly behind the wing on a plane landing on a runway that juts out into the sea. I swear I had fishermen on boats looking down at me. Nearly shat myself.

    If I ever find myself on the same plane as you I'll remember to get off.
    Especially as he's the Pilot.
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    You tend to get a better class of Chavs when travelling business class!
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    JT said:

    Done the Australia flight to and from London 3 times in just over 2 years due to close mates deciding to get married the minute I moved to Sydney.

    That flight in itself is hell. Tried everything. Only so much drinking you can do in a 22 hour flight on your own.
    Such a worrying moment getting on that 14 hour leg of the flight with who may be sitting next to you. Mainly screaming babies

    I've done that flight a few times as have family out there. One time was during my GCSE year so my dad was making me do revision on the plane. There were 6 of us so we had the middle row of 4 and 2 of the 3 by the window. Everyone was on the plane and it was literally a minute before take off. Me and the old man were in the 3 with a spare next to us and we were looking forward to having space on the flight. Then a rather fat Australian woman who had clearly been running through the airport and was dripping with sweat entered the plane. Of course her seat was next to us. Was a rather unpleasant smell for the entire flight.
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    Sat waiting for a flight home from Spain on 0 hours sleep straight from a night out. Hell.
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    Sat waiting for a flight home from Spain on 0 hours sleep straight from a night out. Hell.

    That's what you get for celebrating a 4-3 win!
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    In the check in queue now. A group of 6 geezers has just rocked up, every one of them absolutely in pieces through booze. Two of them can barely stand or speak. They are currently passing around a can of Lynx in the hope it will disguise the smell of drink.

    Please, please, please don't sit 'em anywhere near me.

    #prayforbournemouth
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    edited September 2017
    Cheeky feckers blagged their way to the front of the Priority Check In desk while the rest of us are eyeing each other nervously knowing someone is going to draw the short straw. Don't think the poor girl knew what to do with them or want a scene so just processed them double quick and they're someone else's problem.

    Now they're back sitting in the bar...
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    MrOneLung said:

    My mate flew aeroflot to Moscow back in '91 and the toilets had a pull across curtain rather than doors.

    I think Aeroflot used to have outside toilets
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    I didn't find the two aborted take offs I've endured much fun. Slamming on the brakes as you're hacking down the runway is not good - Phuket and Manila.
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