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Coronavirus - it's not all "bad news"

Off_it
Off_it Posts: 28,847
edited March 2020 in Not Sports Related
A vague (forlorn?) attempt at gallows humour - feel free to sink if deemed inappropriate.

My sister (genuinely) works for a funeral directors - and apparently we can get a 20% "family discount".  Might put down a deposit.
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Comments

  • Callumcafc
    Callumcafc Posts: 63,765
    edited March 2020
    If we can use this as the coronavirus humour topic...

  • Wheresmeticket
    Wheresmeticket Posts: 17,304
    Sorry to be a bore but I do think it is inappropriate.  Some of us are waiting to see if our relatives are going to survive the next few months.
  • Danepak
    Danepak Posts: 1,629
    edited March 2020
    Well, it's not all bad news for me.
    If they postpone the Euro 2020 to 2021, I'll be able to watch a few games at the Parken Stadium in Copenhagen, as we're planning a trip home.
  • bazjonster
    bazjonster Posts: 2,875
    Danepak said:
    Well, it's not all bad news for me.
    If they postpone the Euro 2020 to 2021, I'll be able to watch a few games at the Parken Stadium in Copenhagen, as we're planning a trip home.
    Think you're onto a winner, mate. There's no way the Euros are taking place this year. 
  • Chris_from_Sidcup
    Chris_from_Sidcup Posts: 36,013
    It's not all bad news.

    Won't be able to lose money on random football acca's every Saturday for quite a while.
  • se9addick
    se9addick Posts: 32,035
    If I can actually get a refund/insurance claim for all the stuff that’s going to be cancelled I’ll be minted! (nothing to spend it on, but let’s keep the positive vibe going...)
  • oohaahmortimer
    oohaahmortimer Posts: 34,147
    If this season is abandoned 🙏
    Liverpool don’t win the Premiership, that’s great news all round 
    Imagine Leeds not getting promoted and also snuffs out the minuscule chance of the scum sneaking in to the play offs and jamming promotion .
    Also our relegation will get put back a year and we can do it next year in style with the first ever negative points return for a season when you add in our points reduction .
  • letthegoodtimesroll
    letthegoodtimesroll Posts: 10,620
    edited March 2020
    No football, no pubs or restaurants, no shops, empty supermarket shelves, travel bans ...think of all the money everybody is going to save and, if you are a full time employee working from home, you will be accruing a lot of annual leave 
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  • Athletico Charlton
    Athletico Charlton Posts: 14,275
    After something like 30-35 years of giving myself all sorts of bugs through bitting my finger nails, Covid 19 has made me stop this horrible habit and I had to figure out how to cut the nails on my right hand the other day.

  • RodneyCharltonTrotta
    RodneyCharltonTrotta Posts: 14,827
    How about also posting positive and optimistic developments and recovery news etc.

    Might give a bit of respite from the doom and gloom.
  • aliwibble
    aliwibble Posts: 26,291
    Well SouthEastern will still provide a shit service, but at least it's unlikely to be overcrowded and shit.
  • Wilma
    Wilma Posts: 1,618
    aliwibble said:
    Well SouthEastern will still provide a shit service, but at least it's unlikely to be overcrowded and shit.
    Yes as I'm now working from home I don't have to put up with dirty, smelly, overcrowded, over-priced, delayed trains twice a day! 
  • charltonkeston
    charltonkeston Posts: 7,362
    edited March 2020
    A choice of seats/tables on the train
  • EveshamAddick
    EveshamAddick Posts: 7,015
    All these flights being grounded and people not taking unnecessary journeys is good news for the environment.
  • golfaddick
    golfaddick Posts: 33,628
    Wheresmeticket? said:
    Sorry to be a bore but I do think it is inappropriate.  Some of us are waiting to see if our relatives are going to survive the next few months.
    Out of interest (as I really didnt know) I googled how many people in the UK die of flu every year. Although PHE dont keep exact records of it the average over the past 5 years is approx 17k pa. And that's bearing in mind that the over 60's get reminded to have the flu jab during the winter months.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    charltonkeston said:
    A choice of seats/tables on the train
    I bet South Eastern run the perfect service now nobody wants to get on a train.
  • aliwibble
    aliwibble Posts: 26,291
    Oh come now @ricky_otto there's no need to get silly...
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  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    Spitfire76 said:
    I’m all for laughing in the face of adversity it’s what we brits do.
    ive many minus points at the moment but on the plus side I currently have 18 opened barrels of beer that have 3 days to drink & 28 sealed ones that have a month to drink , I have enough food to feed around 2/300 fresh & another 2/300 frozen but no staff or customers it’s just me !!!!
    I feel a legendary session coming on!
    If you need any help drinking the beer let me know. Not bothered about food, only crisps and pork scratchings required. 
  • MartinCAFC
    MartinCAFC Posts: 3,219
    Not having to put up with the a/c at work anymore.

    No coincidence that I've been out of the office for almost a week and my minor neck ache has gone along with a vastly reduced amount of coughing and sneezing that usually takes place when at work.
  • SoundAsa£
    SoundAsa£ Posts: 22,480
    Gallows humour is part of the British psyche, it was rife during the two world wars......trench humour during the 1st world was particularly prevalent.😀😀😀😀😀😀
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Big_Bad_World said:
    One plus is that this sport may now get the attention it deserves:




    Brilliant that, but what happens to the marbles when they retire?
  • Wilma
    Wilma Posts: 1,618
    MartinCAFC said:
    Not having to put up with the a/c at work anymore.

    No coincidence that I've been out of the office for almost a week and my minor neck ache has gone along with a vastly reduced amount of coughing and sneezing that usually takes place when at work.
    I'm also grateful for not being freezing cold all day! It's so nice to not have to wear about 20 layers of clothing. 
  • stonemuse
    stonemuse Posts: 34,004
    Big_Bad_World said:
    One plus is that this sport may now get the attention it deserves:



    brilliant
  • Big_Bad_World
    Big_Bad_World Posts: 5,859
    i_b_b_o_r_g said:
    Big_Bad_World said:
    One plus is that this sport may now get the attention it deserves:




    Brilliant that, but what happens to the marbles when they retire?
    Glue factory, apparently.

    If that bloke continues to post races then I'll be all over them :)
  • RedPanda
    RedPanda Posts: 4,987

    Chicago Zoo's closed so they've let the penguins out for a wander like they're Joe Public

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2020/mar/17/flipping-brilliant-penguins-tour-chicago-aquarium-closed-due-to-covid-19-video

  • hoof_it_up_to_benty
    hoof_it_up_to_benty Posts: 22,447
    SoundAsa£ said:
    Gallows humour is part of the British psyche, it was rife during the two world wars......trench humour during the 1st world was particularly prevalent.😀😀😀😀😀😀

     Depends what people can cope with and what your boundaries are. A lot of gallows humour will invariably offend someone but often when you're in the shit it's the only thing you have left.

    Some of the funniest things I've heard have been said at funerals.

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