General things that Annoy you
Comments
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Heard an owner (might even have been a jocky) on the radio the other week talking about the whip. Didn't realise it was so light & made of plastic. And there are very strict rules of how many times they can use it. Said they go round schools & events showing the whip & everyone is so amazed that it is so different to what they imagined.Anna_Kissed said:
Just giving a contrarian view.0 -
I wouldn’t have thought the horse likes being whipped even if its the maximum amount of times allowed.golfaddick said:
Heard an owner (might even have been a jocky) on the radio the other week talking about the whip. Didn't realise it was so light & made of plastic. And there are very strict rules of how many times they can use it. Said they go round schools & events showing the whip & everyone is so amazed that it is so different to what they imagined.Anna_Kissed said:
Just giving a contrarian view.
I do like the idea of going to schools and showing the yoofs the whip, it was the cane or slipper in my day.1 -
The excess use of the whip rule is to stop jockeys over exerting the horse rather than pain purposes. They react to the crack rather than any pain. You can whip a humans hand with one and it wouldn’t hurt a bit. The whip is an imperative part of horsemanship and keeps both jockey and horse safe.2
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Made similar to one of those swimming noodles. And as Gary said, it’s about the noise not the feel.0
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Being told that having a transrectal ultrasound examination and biopsy yesterday would be uncomfortable and not painful if I had a local anaesthetic !
The result was as soon as the Urologist rammed his hand up first to pave the way for the probe with the needles to take a biopsy I screamed out JESUS at the top of my voice despite being an Atheist.
The next 12 minutes was surreal as the middle aged female Polish nurse came over and covered up my diminishing penis (where was the gown ?) and held my hand and we talked about how good a striker Robert Lewandowski is while my voice sounded like Joe Pasquale one second and Lee Marvin the next as the doctor and the male nurse were by the back passage and the Doctor was firing a staple gun(sounded like) where the sun don't shine.
And relax and go back to worrying about CAFC until the next appointment in Two weeks time to be given good/bad news.17 -
Thanks for sharing, best laugh for ages!soapboxsam said:Being told that having a transrectal ultrasound examination and biopsy yesterday would be uncomfortable and not painful if I had a local anaesthetic !
The result was as soon as the Urologist rammed his hand up first to pave the way for the probe with the needles to take a biopsy I screamed out JESUS at the top of my voice despite being an Atheist.
The next 12 minutes was surreal as the middle aged female Polish nurse came over and covered up my diminishing penis (where was the gown ?) and held my hand and we talked about how good a striker Robert Lewandowski is while my voice sounded like Joe Pasquale one second and Lee Marvin the next as the doctor and the male nurse were by the back passage and the Doctor was firing a staple gun(sounded like) where the sun don't shine.
And relax and go back to worrying about CAFC until the next appointment in Two weeks time to be given good/bad news.0 -
That sounds fucking awful, I hope you are cured soonsoapboxsam said:Being told that having a transrectal ultrasound examination and biopsy yesterday would be uncomfortable and not painful if I had a local anaesthetic !
The result was as soon as the Urologist rammed his hand up first to pave the way for the probe with the needles to take a biopsy I screamed out JESUS at the top of my voice despite being an Atheist.
The next 12 minutes was surreal as the middle aged female Polish nurse came over and covered up my diminishing penis (where was the gown ?) and held my hand and we talked about how good a striker Robert Lewandowski is while my voice sounded like Joe Pasquale one second and Lee Marvin the next as the doctor and the male nurse were by the back passage and the Doctor was firing a staple gun(sounded like) where the sun don't shine.
And relax and go back to worrying about CAFC until the next appointment in Two weeks time to be given good/bad news.0 -
Doesn't really annoy me but I can't think where else to post it...
The phrase 'the square root of fuck all', presumably signifying that it's even less than fuck all. But if fuck all is less than 1, as I imagine it to be, then the square root of fuck all will actually be greater than fuck all, not less.
E.g., if fuck all is 0.25, then the square root of fuck all is 0.5, twice as much as fuck all. So that phrase makes no sense at all.5 -
fuck all means nothing, zero. the square root of 0 is 0 so the square root of fuck all is fuck all. it's just a way of emphasising. absolutely nothing would be the less sweary way of saying it3
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Thanks for clarifying, your reply makes sense
And of course if fuck all is 0.25, the square root of it could be -0.5, so it could still work3 -
“So, this is my back-story”0
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"So...."6
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Umpires Call.
Watching the typical England batting collapse & Butler gets hit on the pads. Given out but he reviews......result is Umpires call & so he is out.
Rewind back to Windies 1st innings & same thing happened. This time given not out & on review it's Umpires call again. Ball hitting same place on the stumps.0 -
Taking a pizza out of the oven only to realise that the polystyrene disk is still on the bottom9
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Love a bit of polystyrene on a bottom2
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When your TV warns you it's gonna switch itself off in 1 minute, after you've been watching it for a certain amount off time. It's like it's making a comment on my lifestyle - "You've been watching me for 6 and a half hours, why don't you do something useful with your life, you fat w*#ker". F*%k you Samsung!20
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Its a great bit of exercise for me as I either have to get up off my arse and run to the TV keeping it on via the controls at the back or hurridly find my remote control which I swear hides itself at the same time to make it a more fun game for meMrLargo said:When your TV warns you it's gonna switch itself off in 1 minute, after you've been watching it for a certain amount off time. It's like it's making a comment on my lifestyle - "You've been watching me for 6 and a half hours, why don't you do something useful with your life, you fat w*#ker". F*%k you Samsung!
Sadly often or not the TV switches off and I have to restart the porn from the bloody beginning so takes longer to find out if the washing machine is being fixed7 -
Do you let it tick down to 1 second before pressing ok?MrLargo said:When your TV warns you it's gonna switch itself off in 1 minute, after you've been watching it for a certain amount off time. It's like it's making a comment on my lifestyle - "You've been watching me for 6 and a half hours, why don't you do something useful with your life, you fat w*#ker". F*%k you Samsung!
Just to feel like you’ve mugged it off. Not getting the better of me.
No? Just me then.10 -
The presumption of a machine I bought telling me I've been watching too long.
What the fuck is the point of a tv? It exists to be on and watched. Nothing else. So if I go out of the room and don't turn it off or fall asleep whilst watching so what.
Fucking AI.
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Bit like the TV....technology.
My watch bleeps -“MOVE.....”
Whilst I’m having a shit !!2 -
I think you'll find in the set up menu there's a way to disable this function.MrLargo said:When your TV warns you it's gonna switch itself off in 1 minute, after you've been watching it for a certain amount off time. It's like it's making a comment on my lifestyle - "You've been watching me for 6 and a half hours, why don't you do something useful with your life, you fat w*#ker". F*%k you Samsung!
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There are those of us who buy a new gadget and start off by reading every page of the instruction manual, and there are those of us who just cannot be bothered, so we turn it on and hope for the best.happyvalley said:
I think you'll find in the set up menu there's a way to disable this function.MrLargo said:When your TV warns you it's gonna switch itself off in 1 minute, after you've been watching it for a certain amount off time. It's like it's making a comment on my lifestyle - "You've been watching me for 6 and a half hours, why don't you do something useful with your life, you fat w*#ker". F*%k you Samsung!
I'm in the latter group, which also explains why the clock in my car is only ever correct during British Summertime.12 -
If any bloke reads the instructions on something they should be ashamed of themselves - Its should always be a case of hitting the power button, and hoping for the best...MrLargo said:
There are those of us who buy a new gadget and start off by reading every page of the instruction manual, and there are those of us who just cannot be bothered, so we turn it on and hope for the best.happyvalley said:
I think you'll find in the set up menu there's a way to disable this function.MrLargo said:When your TV warns you it's gonna switch itself off in 1 minute, after you've been watching it for a certain amount off time. It's like it's making a comment on my lifestyle - "You've been watching me for 6 and a half hours, why don't you do something useful with your life, you fat w*#ker". F*%k you Samsung!
I'm in the latter group, which also explains why the clock in my car is only ever correct during British Summertime.2 -
BR3red said:
Bit like the TV....technology.
My watch bleeps -“MOVEMENT .”
Whilst I’m having a shit !!0 -
Halfway through emptying the dishwasher, realising that I forgot to start it before I went to bed. The cupboard and drawers now are full of dirty dishes and cutlery.16
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If this is true, I can't help but think the Jockey Club are missing a trick here. Why don't they give all jockeys a cap gun and a cowboy outfit and make them ride around brandishing their guns like a gang of outlaws shooting "Yee-Haw!". Perhaps they could have a kabbadi type rule where riders are disqualified for insufficient Yee-Hawing. They could liven things up considerably by introducing pursuit races where a gang of bandit-jockeys are given a slight head start before being chased down by a posse of law enforcement jockeys. Surely nothing would invigorate the last race at Carlisle on a cold Tuesday afternoon than having the Magnificent Seven ride over the hill. Afterwards everyone could go back the the bar for a spot of line dancing (if that's not too Duchatelet) and some bbq beans.ValleyGary said:The excess use of the whip rule is to stop jockeys over exerting the horse rather than pain purposes. They react to the crack rather than any pain. You can whip a humans hand with one and it wouldn’t hurt a bit. The whip is an imperative part of horsemanship and keeps both jockey and horse safe.
Oh yes, I've got a fine career in sports marketing ahead of me.6 -
Carter said:
That sounds fucking awful, I hope you are cured soonsoapboxsam said:Being told that having a transrectal ultrasound examination and biopsy yesterday would be uncomfortable and not painful if I had a local anaesthetic !
The result was as soon as the Urologist rammed his hand up first to pave the way for the probe with the needles to take a biopsy I screamed out JESUS at the top of my voice despite being an Atheist.
The next 12 minutes was surreal as the middle aged female Polish nurse came over and covered up my diminishing penis (where was the gown ?) and held my hand and we talked about how good a striker Robert Lewandowski is while my voice sounded like Joe Pasquale one second and Lee Marvin the next as the doctor and the male nurse were by the back passage and the Doctor was firing a staple gun(sounded like) where the sun don't shine.
And relax and go back to worrying about CAFC until the next appointment in Two weeks time to be given good/bad news.
Thanks for being there for me guys because it's 100% true and not embellished and have only shared that on CL because I havent got round to talking about it to family and friends, well not that true version anyway ! I just said I was brave and it was no bother.Horsfield9 said:
Thanks for sharing, best laugh for ages!soapboxsam said:Being told that having a transrectal ultrasound examination and biopsy yesterday would be uncomfortable and not painful if I had a local anaesthetic !
The result was as soon as the Urologist rammed his hand up first to pave the way for the probe with the needles to take a biopsy I screamed out JESUS at the top of my voice despite being an Atheist.
The next 12 minutes was surreal as the middle aged female Polish nurse came over and covered up my diminishing penis (where was the gown ?) and held my hand and we talked about how good a striker Robert Lewandowski is while my voice sounded like Joe Pasquale one second and Lee Marvin the next as the doctor and the male nurse were by the back passage and the Doctor was firing a staple gun(sounded like) where the sun don't shine.
And relax and go back to worrying about CAFC until the next appointment in Two weeks time to be given good/bad news.0 -
The tired old phrase 'up close and personal'
Dull, overused, meaningless, redundant, unimaginative.
And people tell you that swearing signifies a lack of vocabulary. Wankers.2 -
Trying to hum the tune to Ski Sunday, but only being able to produce Horse of The Year..2
