Ladies and Gents; if you are bored ring Great Western Hotels. When they answer "Great Western" say True Grit starring John Wayne.
This reminds me of a prank from my youth. If you were out late at a party, you would go to the phone directory, find someone with surname Buss and call them in the middle of the night. When they sleepily answered the phone, you said "Mister Buss", when they replied "yes", you replied "Don't worry there will be another one in the morning". Terrible.
Ladies and Gents; if you are bored ring Great Western Hotels. When they answer "Great Western" say True Grit starring John Wayne.
This reminds me of a prank from my youth. If you were out late at a party, you would go to the phone directory, find someone with surname Buss and call them in the middle of the night. When they sleepily answered the phone, you said "Mister Buss", when they replied "yes", you replied "Don't worry there will be another one in the morning". Terrible.
Ladies and Gents; if you are bored ring Great Western Hotels. When they answer "Great Western" say True Grit starring John Wayne.
When I've been waiting for a plane at Ireland West airport, I phoned a couple of people and say, Knock, Knock, they say "who's there?", I reply, I am and hang up.
Ladies and Gents; if you are bored ring Great Western Hotels. When they answer "Great Western" say True Grit starring John Wayne.
When I've been waiting for a plane at Ireland West airport, I phoned a couple of people and say, Knock, Knock, they say "who's there?", I reply, I am and hang up.
Reminds me of my youth when we were barely teenagers. We’d phone someone random from the phone book in the area of the team we were due to play on the Saturday and start chanting “CHARLTON CHARLTON “ oh dear..... bleeding kids!!!
The silliest prank I recall from my youth was to ring a random number and ask the person answering whether Jim was there. They would (almost certainly) say there is no Jim. You quickly say "Can you tell Jim that Anthony called and I'll meet Jim at the The Anchor pub at 7.30pm". The person answering would say "but Jim doesn't live here" etc. Hang up.
Ten minutes later call again with a different sounding voice "Hello, it's Frank here, is Jim there?" "There is no Jim here", comes the reply. "Can you tell Jim that I've just spoken to Anthony at we are now meeting at 8pm". "But, Jim doesn't live here". Hang up.
Ten minutes later call again with another voice. "Hello, it's Ian here. Can I speak to Jim?". "Look there is no Jim here. There is some mistake". "Yeah, OK, can you tell Jim that I've just spoken to Anthony and Frank and we've decided to meet at the Golden Lion at 8pm now not The Anchor". "But, Jim doesn't live here". Hang up.
Ten minutes later, call again "Hello, Jim here. Any messages for me?" And, if you're lucky, it works! You get all the messages (and the history). Of course, I never did this myself just what I heard some kids were doing.
A German guy called Helmut approaches a lady of the night in London .
"I vish to buy sex viz you."
"Okay," says the girl, "I charge £50 an hour."
"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."
"No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky for an extra £10."
Helmut agrees
So off they go the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
"I vant zat you tie zese springs to each of your hans und knees."
The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested.
"Now you vill get down on your hans und knees."
This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs.
"You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you."
She thinks this even odder, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying).
But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing! What do you call that position?"
"Zat," replies the German, "is the Four-sprung Duck Technique."
Mate of mine is a pilot for Virgin Atlantic and understandably he'd been at a loose end for months. Knowing that he was keen on DIY I offered him the chance to earn a few quid, decorating my place. I have to say
The silliest prank I recall from my youth was to ring a random number and ask the person answering whether Jim was there. They would (almost certainly) say there is no Jim. You quickly say "Can you tell Jim that Anthony called and I'll meet Jim at the The Anchor pub at 7.30pm". The person answering would say "but Jim doesn't live here" etc. Hang up.
Ten minutes later call again with a different sounding voice "Hello, it's Frank here, is Jim there?" "There is no Jim here", comes the reply. "Can you tell Jim that I've just spoken to Anthony at we are now meeting at 8pm". "But, Jim doesn't live here". Hang up.
Ten minutes later call again with another voice. "Hello, it's Ian here. Can I speak to Jim?". "Look there is no Jim here. There is some mistake". "Yeah, OK, can you tell Jim that I've just spoken to Anthony and Frank and we've decided to meet at the Golden Lion at 8pm now not The Anchor". "But, Jim doesn't live here". Hang up.
Ten minutes later, call again "Hello, Jim here. Any messages for me?" And, if you're lucky, it works! You get all the messages (and the history). Of course, I never did this myself just what I heard some kids were doing.
We did similar but spun it out over a week or two with calls at all hours. Just asked is John there and when told no thanked them and hung up. We tried to get a few reverse charge calls in as well. Then did the John here any messages call.
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter,and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it.He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and with Dutch courage in him he finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -then,nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.
His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"
I was shagging the next door neighbour on the kitchen table when we heard a key go in the front door. "Quick" she said, "My husband, try the back door". An odd request at the time I thought, but hey ho. With hindsight I should have done a runner.
Must watch documentary on BBC2 about the covid, tonight 9.00pm.. 2 brothers from the Wuhan research centre, where Trump suspects it was engineered, were due to get on Flight MH370 that miraculously disappeared.
Seems they were the guys behind the development of the new strain, and intending to use it as a weapon, someone caught wind of their plans and purposefully downed the plane. Neither of them got on the flight though. It’s really interesting.
Have a look at it, it's called Two Wongs Don't Make a Flight.
Comments
When they answer "Great Western" say True Grit starring John Wayne.
oh dear..... bleeding kids!!!
Ten minutes later call again with a different sounding voice "Hello, it's Frank here, is Jim there?" "There is no Jim here", comes the reply. "Can you tell Jim that I've just spoken to Anthony at we are now meeting at 8pm". "But, Jim doesn't live here". Hang up.
Ten minutes later call again with another voice. "Hello, it's Ian here. Can I speak to Jim?". "Look there is no Jim here. There is some mistake". "Yeah, OK, can you tell Jim that I've just spoken to Anthony and Frank and we've decided to meet at the Golden Lion at 8pm now not The Anchor". "But, Jim doesn't live here". Hang up.
Ten minutes later, call again "Hello, Jim here. Any messages for me?" And, if you're lucky, it works! You get all the messages (and the history). Of course, I never did this myself just what I heard some kids were doing.
Every morning I go in the shop and say 'I vant to see your papers'.
Knowing that he was keen on DIY I offered him the chance to earn a few quid, decorating my place.
I have to say
he made a lovely job of the landing.
She obviously knows the type of silly joke that makes me laugh!
2 brothers from the Wuhan research centre, where Trump suspects it was engineered, were due to get on Flight MH370 that miraculously disappeared.
Seems they were the guys behind the development of the new strain, and intending to use it as a weapon, someone caught wind of their plans and purposefully downed the plane. Neither of them got on the flight though. It’s really interesting.
Have a look at it, it's called Two Wongs Don't Make a Flight.