Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

Has the Jokes thread disappeared?

man_at_milletts
man_at_milletts Posts: 5,650
in General Charlton
I've looked at the first 7 pages and can't see it anywhere.
«134567…29

Comments

  • Hal1x
    Hal1x Posts: 4,265
    Don't get it? ;)
  • cafcfan
    cafcfan Posts: 11,227
    Yes, I think it has.

    So, here's something a little different to keep you entertained in the meantime. (A clue: it works better if you tilt it approx. 45 degrees.)

    No description available
  • carly burn
    carly burn Posts: 19,629
    Best place for it!
  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,278

  • cafctom
    cafctom Posts: 11,394
    It’s behind you! 
  • Blackheathen
    Blackheathen Posts: 6,679
    What’s Seth doing with himself
  • seth plum
    seth plum Posts: 53,448
    Yeah. A lot of contributions gone!
  • Gribbo
    Gribbo Posts: 8,640
    man_at_milletts said:
    I've looked at the first 7 pages and can't see it anywhere.
    Oh no you haven't 
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,939
    Blackheathen said:
    What’s Seth doing with himself
    Can you rephrase that?
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,939


    It helps if you know those types of bottles are called “anbidon” in French. 

  • Sponsored links:



  • eastterrace6168
    eastterrace6168 Posts: 23,523
    AddicksAddict said:
    Blackheathen said:
    What’s Seth doing with himself
    Can you rephrase that?
    What the fu*k's Seth up to...🙄
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,100
    Don’t know about disappearing threads, but what do you call someone who can make numbers disappear?

    A mathmagician 
  • SuedeAdidas
    SuedeAdidas Posts: 7,811
    edited September 2024
    Two owls playing pool in a pub. 

    First owl breaks and goes in off. 
    Second owl laughs and says “That’s two hits” and the first owl replies “Two hits to who?”
     

  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 27,068
    edited September 2024
    Two owls in a tree during a thunderstorm

    First owl says 'are you taking your girlfriend out tonight?' and the second owl replies, 'to wet to woo'
  • Blackheathen
    Blackheathen Posts: 6,679
    Signs collected by a flight attendant along her travels:

    The sign in a Norwegian lounge reads:
    LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

    Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room:
    IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

    An airline ticket office in Copenhagen reminds you:
    WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

    In a certain African hotel you may choose between:
    A ROOM WITH A VIEWOF THE SEA OR THE BACKSIDE OF THE COUNTRY.

    A sign on a clothing store in Brussels read:
    COME INSIDE AND HAVE A FIT

    This notice was posted on a Rumanian hotel elevator:
    THIS LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAYS DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILLL BE UNBEARABLE.

    The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you:
    IF YOU WISH FOR BREAKFAST, LIFT THE TELEPHONE AND ASK FOR ROOM SERVICE.  THIS WILL BE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BRING YOUR FOOD UP.

    A sign at Budapest’s zoo requests:
    PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.  IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

    A Polish hotel informs prospective visitors in a flyer:
    AS FOR THE TROUT SERVED AT THE HOTEL MONOPOL, YOU WILL BE SINGING ITS PRAISE TO YOUR GRANDCHILDREN AS YOU LIE ON YOUR DEATHBED.

    A dentist’s doorway in Istanbul proclaims:
    AMERICAN DENTIST 2ND FLOOR.  TEETH EXTRACTED BY LATEST METHODISTS.

    A London restaurant advertised for help this way:
    WANTED.  MAN TO WASH DISHES AND TWO WAITRESSES


  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,147
    "Up next are local band 'Subtraction'.

     Take it away boys!"
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,147
    I finally got to see my GP on Tuesday and showed him the rash on my bollocks. However, he just ignored me and kept pushing his trolley around Tesco. 
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 23,096
    What hoots and is covered in blood?

    A sanitary owl.
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,147
    Been researching my family history recently .

     Found out my Grandad was killed by a Zulu 

    Apparently he was in the toilet at Whipsnade and the roof collapsed
  • southamptonaddick
    southamptonaddick Posts: 4,078
    Me and my mate are going to form a duet.
    We're going to be called the symbolics.
    I will be sym.

  • Sponsored links:



  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,147
    edited September 2024
    We’ve recently hired an Eastern European cleaner but it takes her 5 hours just to hoover the living room. I think she’s a Slovak..
  • Hal1x
    Hal1x Posts: 4,265
    southamptonaddick said:
    Me and my mate are going to form a duet.
    We're going to be called the symbolics.
    I will be sym.
    Im sorry I don't believe you, I think its total bullshit and you should therefore be called Shambolic.
  • Bedsaddick
    Bedsaddick Posts: 24,948
    North Lower Neil said:
    What hoots and is covered in blood?

    A sanitary owl.
    With lame jokes like that , no wonder the last thread was closed down. ;-)
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,147
    It’s a lighthouse .. 


  • Solidgone
    Solidgone Posts: 10,262
    _MrDick said:
    It’s a lighthouse .. 


    Pele’s magic pill will sort that out in no time!
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,147
    The doctor examined me and said, "It's possible you've got pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis...
    ...but at the moment it's hard to say."
  • Danepak
    Danepak Posts: 1,640
    I went to the hairdressers and said “Can I have a haircut like Tom Cruise?”

    The barber gets his clippers out and shaves my head.

    I said “Tom Cruise doesn’t have his hair like this!”

    And the barber says “He would if he came here”
  • Swindon_Addick
    Swindon_Addick Posts: 1,765
    Danepak said:
    I went to the hairdressers and said “Can I have a haircut like Tom Cruise?”

    The barber gets his clippers out and shaves my head.

    I said “Tom Cruise doesn’t have his hair like this!”

    And the barber says “He would if he came here”
    Time for a sharp exit. One of the best adverts ever. Shame the beer was rubbish.
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 95,917
    Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards into the water? - Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat
  • red10
    red10 Posts: 844
    edited September 2024
    Done this one before but as its a new thread.
    Why do female skydivers wear skydiving suits?. So they don't whistle on the way down.

Categories

“Marketplace”