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Has the Jokes thread disappeared?
man_at_milletts
Posts: 5,650
I've looked at the first 7 pages and can't see it anywhere.
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Don't get it?
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Yes, I think it has.
So, here's something a little different to keep you entertained in the meantime. (A clue: it works better if you tilt it approx. 45 degrees.)
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Best place for it!0
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It’s behind you!1
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What’s Seth doing with himself0
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Yeah. A lot of contributions gone!1
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Oh no you haven'tman_at_milletts said:I've looked at the first 7 pages and can't see it anywhere.1 -
Can you rephrase that?Blackheathen said:What’s Seth doing with himself6 -
It helps if you know those types of bottles are called “anbidon” in French.4 -
Sponsored links:
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What the fu*k's Seth up to...🙄AddicksAddict said:
Can you rephrase that?Blackheathen said:What’s Seth doing with himself1 -
Don’t know about disappearing threads, but what do you call someone who can make numbers disappear?
A mathmagician4 -
Two owls playing pool in a pub.First owl breaks and goes in off.Second owl laughs and says “That’s two hits” and the first owl replies “Two hits to who?”
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Two owls in a tree during a thunderstorm
First owl says 'are you taking your girlfriend out tonight?' and the second owl replies, 'to wet to woo'9 -
Signs collected by a flight attendant along her travels:
The sign in a Norwegian lounge reads:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
An airline ticket office in Copenhagen reminds you:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
In a certain African hotel you may choose between:
A ROOM WITH A VIEWOF THE SEA OR THE BACKSIDE OF THE COUNTRY.
A sign on a clothing store in Brussels read:
COME INSIDE AND HAVE A FIT
This notice was posted on a Rumanian hotel elevator:
THIS LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAYS DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILLL BE UNBEARABLE.
The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you:
IF YOU WISH FOR BREAKFAST, LIFT THE TELEPHONE AND ASK FOR ROOM SERVICE. THIS WILL BE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BRING YOUR FOOD UP.
A sign at Budapest’s zoo requests:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
A Polish hotel informs prospective visitors in a flyer:
AS FOR THE TROUT SERVED AT THE HOTEL MONOPOL, YOU WILL BE SINGING ITS PRAISE TO YOUR GRANDCHILDREN AS YOU LIE ON YOUR DEATHBED.
A dentist’s doorway in Istanbul proclaims:
AMERICAN DENTIST 2ND FLOOR. TEETH EXTRACTED BY LATEST METHODISTS.
A London restaurant advertised for help this way:
WANTED. MAN TO WASH DISHES AND TWO WAITRESSES
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"Up next are local band 'Subtraction'.Take it away boys!"9
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I finally got to see my GP on Tuesday and showed him the rash on my bollocks. However, he just ignored me and kept pushing his trolley around Tesco.19
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What hoots and is covered in blood?
A sanitary owl.14 -
Been researching my family history recently .Found out my Grandad was killed by a ZuluApparently he was in the toilet at Whipsnade and the roof collapsed7
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Me and my mate are going to form a duet.
We're going to be called the symbolics.
I will be sym.1 -
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We’ve recently hired an Eastern European cleaner but it takes her 5 hours just to hoover the living room. I think she’s a Slovak..8
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Im sorry I don't believe you, I think its total bullshit and you should therefore be called Shambolic.southamptonaddick said:Me and my mate are going to form a duet.
We're going to be called the symbolics.
I will be sym.1 -
With lame jokes like that , no wonder the last thread was closed down. ;-)North Lower Neil said:What hoots and is covered in blood?
A sanitary owl.0 -
It’s a lighthouse ..
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The doctor examined me and said, "It's possible you've got pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis......but at the moment it's hard to say."8
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I went to the hairdressers and said “Can I have a haircut like Tom Cruise?”The barber gets his clippers out and shaves my head.I said “Tom Cruise doesn’t have his hair like this!”And the barber says “He would if he came here”13
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Time for a sharp exit. One of the best adverts ever. Shame the beer was rubbish.Danepak said:I went to the hairdressers and said “Can I have a haircut like Tom Cruise?”The barber gets his clippers out and shaves my head.I said “Tom Cruise doesn’t have his hair like this!”And the barber says “He would if he came here”1 -
Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards into the water? - Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat8
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Done this one before but as its a new thread.Why do female skydivers wear skydiving suits?. So they don't whistle on the way down.3
