The bollocks advert for Saudi Arabia claiming to be the soul of football or some similar downright lie. Try the home of chopping up critical journalists. You'll be much nearer the truth
Moaning neighbours, We're having building work at the moment, but everything is an issue for Mrs next door neighbour, despite informing them about the work and making every effort to keep inconvenience to a minimum she whines none stop, we live in a close of four houses and three of us all get along well except them. They are plastic Liverpool fans which makes it worse.
The television coverage of the World Cup has annoyed me for a whole number of reasons, some of this is to do with the main feed from FIFA, some is local stuff at BBC/ITV level. Some trivial, some belying bigger issues. Here goes:
That bone-domed Doha resident Gianni Allaboutmeo gets his pan on the screen for every game. Well, almost every game; well done England fans!
Those stupid stats that pop up about stuff like forced line interceptions, apple turnovers, evolutionary throwbacks and flubber in the box. What is all this nonsense? If we have to have this stuff imposed upon us, at least explain what it means.
Commentators fixating on star players. Try describing what's happening on the pitch rather than creaming yourself into a lather because one player is (or at least was) better than everyone else on the pitch. It's a team game.
On a similar note. Brazil are just another team. Stop going on about them like you're a sycophantic school kid. No, Neymar doesn't invoke memories of Pele (unless you're thinking of Denis Pele from The Dog & Duck XI) and no you don't have to mention Roberto Carlos every single time that Brazil get a free kick. Thank fuck they succumbed to an early exit, I don't think I could have taken any more.
When they put up that screen with the scoreline on it, why earth do they scroll through the scorers one at a time? There's loads of space at the bottom of the screen. Get all the scorers up in one go and then move on quickly.
The lack of pictures during VAR reviews. If we have to involve the sterile techno-ref team, at least let us join in the decision making to judge whether someone's thumb was gaining an advantage by being in front of the last defender.
The way that team line ups are shown at the start of matches with little music videos that are supposed look like cut-out newsprint. I know it's aimed at little kids, but it's more like watching the start of Grange Hill than a football programme. I keep expecting to see a sausage on a fork arriving out of nowhere. Just tell us the players, remind us of their shirt numbers and give us your best guess as to how they'll line up. You're not posting some shitty little Tik Tok video.
The high number of poor quality women presenters and pundits that festoon the coverage. For the record, I am not opposed to women's involvement. I personally think that Alex Scott and Eni Aluko are very good. They speak well, and clearly have insights into the game. What I'm particularly opposed to are the trio of ladies (oops, Sandgaard moment) women who hang around the pitch chatting about shit like I'm A Celebrity. Are you, really? Let's get you out of here.
The high number of poor quality male Commentators and pundits that festoon the coverage. Danny Murphy, Graeme Souness, Sam Matterface, Jermaine Jenas, Ian Rush but most of all Clive Tyldesly. Find something better to do. Stop blighting our screens.
Now I've opened myself up to accusations of misogyny, I might as well carry on. When a player of the women's game appears on screen captions like "Five goals in eleven World Cup appearances" seem a little off to me. Whoever it is we are talking about has never played in this World Cup, i.e. the one that matters. They may be great footballers. They may have done great things, but stop pretending that it's on a par. Apart from Phil Foden making a joke about being a World Cup winner already, you'd never get this from anyone else. They might as will put Lasith Malinga on with the caption that he's "scored two World Cup hat tricks".
The television coverage of the World Cup has annoyed me for a whole number of reasons, some of this is to do with the main feed from FIFA, some is local stuff at BBC/ITV level. Some trivial, some belying bigger issues. Here goes:
That bone-domed Doha resident Gianni Allaboutmeo gets his pan on the screen for every game. Well, almost every game; well done England fans!
Those stupid stats that pop up about stuff like forced line interceptions, apple turnovers, evolutionary throwbacks and flubber in the box. What is all this nonsense? If we have to have this stuff imposed upon us, at least explain what it means.
Commentators fixating on star players. Try describing what's happening on the pitch rather than creaming yourself into a lather because one player is (or at least was) better than everyone else on the pitch. It's a team game.
On a similar note. Brazil are just another team. Stop going on about them like you're a sycophantic school kid. No, Neymar doesn't invoke memories of Pele (unless you're thinking of Denis Pele from The Dog & Duck XI) and no you don't have to mention Roberto Carlos every single time that Brazil get a free kick. Thank fuck they succumbed to an early exit, I don't think I could have taken any more.
When they put up that screen with the scoreline on it, why earth do they scroll through the scorers one at a time? There's loads of space at the bottom of the screen. Get all the scorers up in one go and then move on quickly.
The lack of pictures during VAR reviews. If we have to involve the sterile techno-ref team, at least let us join in the decision making to judge whether someone's thumb was gaining an advantage by being in front of the last defender.
The way that team line ups are shown at the start of matches with little music videos that are supposed look like cut-out newsprint. I know it's aimed at little kids, but it's more like watching the start of Grange Hill than a football programme. I keep expecting to see a sausage on a fork arriving out of nowhere. Just tell us the players, remind us of their shirt numbers and give us your best guess as to how they'll line up. You're not posting some shitty little Tik Tok video.
The high number of poor quality women presenters and pundits that festoon the coverage. For the record, I am not opposed to women's involvement. I personally think that Alex Scott and Eni Aluko are very good. They speak well, and clearly have insights into the game. What I'm particularly opposed to are the trio of ladies (oops, Sandgaard moment) women who hang around the pitch chatting about shit like I'm A Celebrity. Are you, really? Let's get you out of here.
The high number of poor quality male Commentators and pundits that festoon the coverage. Danny Murphy, Graeme Souness, Sam Matterface, Jermaine Jenas, Ian Rush but most of all Clive Tyldesly. Find something better to do. Stop blighting our screens.
Now I've opened myself up to accusations of misogyny, I might as well carry on. When a player of the women's game appears on screen captions like "Five goals in eleven World Cup appearances" seem a little off to me. Whoever it is we are talking about has never played in this World Cup, i.e. the one that matters. They may be great footballers. They may have done great things, but stop pretending that it's on a par. Apart from Phil Foden making a joke about being a World Cup winner already, you'd never get this from anyone else. They might as will put Lasith Malinga on with the caption that he's "scored two World Cup hat tricks".
The fact that you can get a bottle of coca cola now, and the cap doesnt detach completely from the seal anymore - Its a decent idea, because it says on the top of the bottle: "I am attached to recycle together"
So clearly meant to cut down on rubbish = Can only be a good thing...
But trying to line up the cap, so it screws back on properly is a pain in the bloody arse!!
The fact that you can get a bottle of coca cola now, and the cap doesnt detach completely from the seal anymore - Its a decent idea, because it says on the top of the bottle: "I am attached to recycle together"
So clearly meant to cut down on rubbish = Can only be a good thing...
But trying to line up the cap, so it screws back on properly is a pain in the bloody arse!!
The fact that you can get a bottle of coca cola now, and the cap doesnt detach completely from the seal anymore - Its a decent idea, because it says on the top of the bottle: "I am attached to recycle together"
So clearly meant to cut down on rubbish = Can only be a good thing...
But trying to line up the cap, so it screws back on properly is a pain in the bloody arse!!
The fact that you can get a bottle of coca cola now, and the cap doesnt detach completely from the seal anymore - Its a decent idea, because it says on the top of the bottle: "I am attached to recycle together"
So clearly meant to cut down on rubbish = Can only be a good thing...
But trying to line up the cap, so it screws back on properly is a pain in the bloody arse!!
Me be me, that new feature past me by. I put it down to a manufacturing fault, muttered at it before detaching the cap as per nearly normal.
The fact that you can get a bottle of coca cola now, and the cap doesnt detach completely from the seal anymore - Its a decent idea, because it says on the top of the bottle: "I am attached to recycle together"
So clearly meant to cut down on rubbish = Can only be a good thing...
But trying to line up the cap, so it screws back on properly is a pain in the bloody arse!!
Me be me, that new feature past me by. I put it down to a manufacturing fault, muttered at it before detaching the cap as per nearly normal.
Yeah I kept thinking it was a fault... then my wife pointed out the message on top of the bottle cap
My eyesight deteriorating very slightly but enough that I have to put my specs on to see the TV. Mrs Idle seems to have noticed that I'm more interested in the news when Sophie Raworth or Tina Daheley are reading it. Huw Edwards doesn't stand a chance.
When I read the headline 'Prince Harry Reveals' ... ffs what now?
Today I've learnt that:-
He killed 25 Taliban. Had his necklace broken in a set to with his brother. Has done a bit of cocaine Was 'snipped' at birth. ... and was suffering from penile frost bite at William and Kate's wedding.
When I read the headline 'Prince Harry Reveals' ... ffs what now?
Today I've learnt that:-
He killed 25 Taliban. Had his necklace broken in a set to with his brother. Has done a bit of cocaine Was 'snipped' at birth. ... and was suffering from penile frost bite at William and Kate's wedding.
And that some old posh type rode him like a horse.
They should have left it at the Netflix documentary, came across OK in that from the bits I saw, but now he's making himself look a bit daft and petty.
The trend with documentaries where when interviewing someone they film them sit down and adjust their mic etc before starting and they leave it in the final edit. Mildly interesting/quirky the first few times it was done, boring now that so many documentaries seem to include it.
Comments
It's all well and good that you're leaving, but don't break up the group just because you're boring.
So clearly meant to cut down on rubbish = Can only be a good thing...
But trying to line up the cap, so it screws back on properly is a pain in the bloody arse!!
2. People in the know, who are proven not to be
4. People who take speculation as fact.
Today I've learnt that:-
He killed 25 Taliban.
Had his necklace broken in a set to with his brother.
Has done a bit of cocaine
Was 'snipped' at birth.
... and was suffering from penile frost bite at William and Kate's wedding.
They should have left it at the Netflix documentary, came across OK in that from the bits I saw, but now he's making himself look a bit daft and petty.