A man is sitting next to his newborn baby's cot. From the other room his father comes in and lays a hand on his shoulder.
"You've done really well, mate. You'll make a brilliant dad."
The son looks up and smiles with a bit of anxiety in his voice. "Thanks, Dad. I really hope so."
The old man pulls out a small book from his back pocket and hands it to his son. "Now that you're a parent, I'd like you to have this. I studied it for the first year of your life and memorised every single one. I'd love you to use it for my grandson."
The son looks at the cover which is titled 1000 Dad Jokes To Annoy Your Children. He looks up with tears in his eyes. "Dad...I'm honoured."
Phoned the RSPCA & said 'I have found six puppies in a suitcase beside the road.' Operator asks if they are moving, replied 'Not sure but that would explain the suitcase'
So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means, it’s not the end of the world.
Why is it called “armageddon”? When a giant meteor’s about to land on your head, what else can you do than run away screaming “Ah’m a geddin out of here”?
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"You've done really well, mate. You'll make a brilliant dad."
The son looks up and smiles with a bit of anxiety in his voice. "Thanks, Dad. I really hope so."
The old man pulls out a small book from his back pocket and hands it to his son. "Now that you're a parent, I'd like you to have this. I studied it for the first year of your life and memorised every single one. I'd love you to use it for my grandson."
The son looks at the cover which is titled 1000 Dad Jokes To Annoy Your Children. He looks up with tears in his eyes. "Dad...I'm honoured."
His dad smiles: "Hello, Honoured. I'm Dad."
turns out he’s an odd job man
I didn’t really like it much but at least I served a porpoise.
Relieved, he said to the doctor : “tonight thank god it's phlegm, instead of flu"
"That sounds a bit far-fetched"
I know he means well.
Just type “ice packs” into their sites search facility.
Must Say, I was very impressed.
https://www.boots.com/
Not selling Lucozade in Boots anymore.
it runs out through the lace holes
I guessed toffee but it was peanut.
I guessed strawberry but it was coffee.
I was wrong on so many revels.
He double glossed her