supposedly a true story .. the Queen was hosting a state dinner for ex French president Chirac During a conversation with Madame Chirac the Queen asked 'what do you think is the most important thing in life ?. … 'A penis' came the reply .. Chirac intervened .. 'My wife means (H)appiness your majesty' ((:>) If not true, then it should be
The Germans are getting so worried about corona virus they’re putting towels on hospital beds!
Hello Oz, usually enjoy your jokes but I don’t get this one. And, come to that I don’t get FAs Woolworths joke either. I must be having a slow morning.
@Blackheathen The Germans are reserving the beds with their towels like they do the sun loungers on holiday.
Comments
During a conversation with Madame Chirac the Queen asked 'what do you think is the most important thing in life ?. … 'A penis' came the reply .. Chirac intervened .. 'My wife means (H)appiness your majesty' ((:>) If not true, then it should be
Went up to both the checkout and kiosk to ask if they had any toilet paper yet each time got quite a rude NO in response
That shuffle back to the toilets with my trousers and pants round my ankles is one I never want to do again!!
This Pjanic buying really needs to stop
The shelves are all so empty,
It really is a farce,
I ask myself the question,
How will I wipe my arse?
Do I turn to Ebay?
And buy some for a grand,
From a bloke in Bagshot,
That could be second hand.
Asda has no bog roll,
Tesco's got none too,
What will I do tomorrow,
When I want a poo?
Lidl's shelves are empty,
Aldi's stock is low,
I really need some Andrex,
Please tell me where to go.
Do I use a pair of socks?
That might be alright,
But then I have a problem,
My feet would stink of shite.
I could use a towel,
But that's not very fair,
My wife might use the same one,
When she dries her hair.
So when the time arrives,
And I know it's not a trump,
I'll be prepared and ready,
For a paperless dump.
I will use an old poster,
I have of Miley Cyrus,
So you can kiss my fat clean arse,
Damned Corona virus!!
He said I can’t have milk, eggs, cheese or even yogurt!
How diary!
In days of old
When knights were bold
And paper weren't invented,
They'd wipe their arse
On blades of grass
And went home quite contented.
(Yes, I know lines four and five don't rhyme anywhere north of Coventry.)
https://twitter.com/lukewright204/status/1240984959403393025?s=21
Even the inventor of autocorrect is I'll.
Just follow the tissue trail.