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  • Stig said:
    Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
    He worked it out with a pencil.
    When that didn’t work, he used logs.
    And was hoping not to have to use tables. 
  • edited December 23
    Boy asks his mother... Can I have a Dog for Christmas

    No... You can have turkey like everyone else
  • _MrDick said:
    I’ve spent the last 4 hours in A&E after getting covered in camouflage paint .. I still haven’t been seen.
    Reminds me of this one…

    Sergeant Major bawling at one of his men. “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning Private Jones” he screamed.

    ”Thank you very much sir” came the reply. 
  • TelMc32 said:
    _MrDick said:
    I’ve spent the last 4 hours in A&E after getting covered in camouflage paint .. I still haven’t been seen.
    Reminds me of this one…

    Sergeant Major bawling at one of his men. “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning Private Jones” he screamed.

    ”Thank you very much sir” came the reply. 

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  • Hal1x said:
    TelMc32 said:
    _MrDick said:
    I’ve spent the last 4 hours in A&E after getting covered in camouflage paint .. I still haven’t been seen.
    Reminds me of this one…

    Sergeant Major bawling at one of his men. “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning Private Jones” he screamed.

    ”Thank you very much sir” came the reply. 

    I think you’ll find they’ve all been done mate!! 🙄
  • As the night of Christmas eve gives way to Christmas day, Carol Vorderman and Rachel Riley will be performing a special service at Westminster Cathedral of addition, subtraction, division, multiplication and algebra - it is Midnight Maths
  • What do you call a collection of Auctioneers

    A lot
  • Why is it impossible to surprise Darth Vader at Christmas?

    Because he'll always feel your presents
  • Seems that Cars dont last as long as they used to.

    My mechanic told me my car only had four Goodyears
  • edited 5:06PM
    If you've ever wondered what makes something "British".


  • Boy asks his mother... Can I have a Dog for Christmas

    No... You can have turkey like everyone else
    Thank you @ForeverAddickted as I managed to slip this joke into a Christmas Eve luncheon conversation today 🤓🎅🏿🥂 
  • Solidgone said:
    Boy asks his mother... Can I have a Dog for Christmas

    No... You can have turkey like everyone else
    Thank you @ForeverAddickted as I managed to slip this joke into a Christmas Eve luncheon conversation today 🤓🎅🏿🥂 
    I hope it was a conversation about the best jokes you've heard in 2024, rather than jokes that make you want to jump out at the top storey of a high level building :D
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