There a too many blow jobs on tv and in films these days. There was a time when it was unusual and quite shocking in an interesting way. Nowadays it seems that a drama isn't a drama unless someone is being gobbled off. For some strange reason it seems to happen an unfeasible amount of time when people are travelling in cars. No self respecting film containing a journey by car can ever be made these days without someone suggestively ducking under the dashboard. The remake of Herbie Rides Again promises to be absolutely full of it and I note that The Disney corporation have announced the making of Cars 3. I'm sure that by the time it comes out it will be considered ok to have some pixelated under-dash action in a kids film. And if they ever remake Genevieve, the Brighton Supporters Club might really have something to complain about.
I have three main complaints against this oral extravaganza we are being subjected to. Firstly it has just become a dull parody of itself. It's all been done before, it isn't even mildly interesting, it just seems to be the unthinking scriptwriters way of packing out a few frames. Anyone who thinks it is interesting, sexually or otherwise, really does need help. Secondly, as a family man I find it more than a bit embarrassing. When I'm there watching some programme with people of different generations of my family and someone goes for the old duck and dive, it can all be a little difficult to swallow. The last thing I want when my mother in law is sitting at the other end of the sofa is the image of someone getting a blowie on the big screen. Finally, I have to say, it all just makes me a tad jealous. How can all this action be going on and I'm not a part of it. I don't want to imagine that every car driver that smiles in my direction is having their gearstick artificially stimulated. I don't think these films represent reality and I'll be bloody annoyed if I find out that they are and I've been the only one missing out all this time.
Anyway, rant over. I'm back to watching Deep Throat now.
can you tell me what these programmes are ...a friend of mine wanted to know
At the checkout seeing obese mother stocking up on giant packets of crisps, maxi size bottles of coca cola, jammy dodgers, pizza and frozen chips, not a fruit or vegetable in sight apart from baked beans. What chance does the child have.
All this fuss about the re-burial of Richard 111. It can't possibly be his body anyway, apparently they dug up his body from a car park in Leicester & even I know cars were not around in the 16th century.
If you are going on a 3-4 day caravan break, anyone else's missus manage to accumulate a years worth of ketchup, brown sauce, tartar sauce, salad cream, mustard, mayonnaise, malt vinegar, salt, pepper and sugar saches in preparation?
If you are going on a 3-4 day caravan break, anyone else's missus manage to accumulate a years worth of ketchup, brown sauce, tartar sauce, salad cream, mustard, mayonnaise, malt vinegar, salt, pepper and sugar saches in preparation?
If you are going on a 3-4 day caravan break, anyone else's missus manage to accumulate a years worth of ketchup, brown sauce, tartar sauce, salad cream, mustard, mayonnaise, malt vinegar, salt, pepper and sugar saches in preparation?
All this fuss about the re-burial of Richard 111. It can't possibly be his body anyway, apparently they dug up his body from a car park in Leicester & even I know cars were not around in the 16th century.
Those slips of paper that take up half the packet when you buy drugs and medicines. They're fine if you've got a new prescription for some exotic chemical, but if just having an aspirin I don't want that stuff in my way.
kissing in public. this couple this morning, constantly pecking at 6 second intervals on a packed tube carriage. this isn't a romantic stroll through Paris or a gondola ride in Venice, it's the bloody jubilee line to Stanmore ffs!!!!!
a little peck goodbye fine, not every 6 seconds at just gone 8 in the morning.
kissing in public. this couple this morning, constantly pecking at 6 second intervals on a packed tube carriage. this isn't a romantic stroll through Paris or a gondola ride in Venice, it's the bloody jubilee line to Stanmore ffs!!!!!
a little peck goodbye fine, not every 6 seconds at just gone 8 in the morning.
kissing in public. this couple this morning, constantly pecking at 6 second intervals on a packed tube carriage. this isn't a romantic stroll through Paris or a gondola ride in Venice, it's the bloody jubilee line to Stanmore ffs!!!!!
a little peck goodbye fine, not every 6 seconds at just gone 8 in the morning.
makes me sick
You romantic bastard...
I've had my moments. Took the mrs to her first ever Charlton game when we beat Man City at home in our relegation season, Nov 2006. 1-0 to us. Blocked her view of Darren Bent's goal because I was already up on my feet in anticipation of it going in from Jerome Thomas' cross. Who said romance was dead..........
kissing in public. this couple this morning, constantly pecking at 6 second intervals on a packed tube carriage. this isn't a romantic stroll through Paris or a gondola ride in Venice, it's the bloody jubilee line to Stanmore ffs!!!!!
a little peck goodbye fine, not every 6 seconds at just gone 8 in the morning.
makes me sick
You romantic bastard...
I've had my moments. Took the mrs to her first ever Charlton game when we beat Man City at home in our relegation season, Nov 2006. 1-0 to us. Blocked her view of Darren Bent's goal because I was already up on my feet in anticipation of it going in from Jerome Thomas' cross. Who said romance was dead..........
That was my son's first ever game. It's been downhill ever since !
Comments
Little square silver ones.
Mmmm lighter fluid. Used to love the smell
Yeah, cheers for the sympathy
People who make cheap jokes about other people afflictions
Guy must pinch himself for getting paid good money for producing total tosh so consistently and his accents are shockingly poor.
Apart from that, he's funny.
Used to like him in Harry Enfield 'Lee & Lance' sketches but now totally sold out and unfunny.
Noel Gallagher on Motd2 pretending to be a true Manc despite legging it from there at the first opportunity
Isn't that fat legs?
Like I said, a tad annoying.
People who don't know basic British history :-)
a little peck goodbye fine, not every 6 seconds at just gone 8 in the morning.
makes me sick
Just...get out of my way. Go home. Get in bed. Don't ever get out of it. Thanks.