Why is it that 99 times out of a 100, that if you throw a spoon into an empty sink that has the tap running it 'always' seems to end up directly under the stream of water thus covering yourself and everthing around the area in water.
It's f'ing uncanny I tell ya but it happens way too often (at least to me) to be a coincidence.
On several occassions I've ended up even more wet because you have to reach over to turn the sodding tap off!
McDonalds staff who ask if you want a 'meal' when all you've asked for is a Big Mac. If I'd have wanted a Big Mac meal I would have fu**ing asked for one.
Carrier bags.
Halifax adverts-smug twats.
Old people who wear baseball caps.
They're just doing what they've been trained to do. If you choose to 'eat' in McDonalds I would say you have to put up with what McDonalds want from their staff.
People who write (yes, actually write) could of instead of could've or could have. Do they speak out loud while they type and write it as they pronounce it, or do they genuinely think that is what the expression is? This annoys me far more than it should.
Could of, should of, might of - a general surfeit of 'of's and a dearth of 'have's.
Claims management/pensions review companies. Particularly the feckers that rang me 6 times in one day recently at work and also left a message at home. Don't know where they got my number or the idea I need them from but I really wish they would get a proper job and leave me alone.
The irony of course that telesales staff are not allowed their phones on at work in case they get disturbed in their job.
Web application forms where you have to scroll down to year of birth. Humiliating. I filled out a form on behalf of my son the other day and even had to scroll down for him. That made me feel even older.
The gambling advert where that couple look at each other all sultry as if they are going rip each others clothes of and then start throwing around dice and chips that materialise out of thin air. Companies should not be allowed to pretend that the sad world of internet betting is as exciting as having a real sexual encounter.
People who can't seem to grasp that although the lane markings are not physically round the roundabout, it does still apply to stay in lane rather than drifting into mine!!!
Another hated advert: Has anyone else heard that radio advert for Weightwatchers where a woman talks in between large noisy mouthfuls of toast? Well pet hates of mine are noisy eaters, people who eat with their mouth open and people who talk with their mouth full, so this ad hits a proper nerve for me. It's fucking disgusting.
I can't believe I only just came across this thread. Business. Everything about the way people project themselves in the business world. You would think we live in a world where people revel in their jobs as if it puts them on a higher plane than the common man. Emphasising that they are in 'client meetings', 'conference calls', 'all day meetings'.
Tossing statements like 'we listen, we understand and will work with you to put together a bespoke solution dedicated to helping you integrate all your strategic objectives in a cost efficient and timely manor'
This sort of shite populates numerous websites of businesses across various sectors. Then people want to put a profile of themselves on their website with a title like 'creative marketeer with commercial nous'. Finished with a little bit of an insight into their personal life, they play the guitar and their favourite song is angels by Robbie Williams.
Keep it to yourself.
I work in this environment everyday. Basically I leave my soul at London Bridge at about 8am and pick it up again about 6pm every weekday.
Everything about the way people project themselves in the business world.
Charlie Brooker says it so well....
"Nudge unit". "Big society". "Hug a hoodie". They sound like the titles of nauseating business-psychobabble books: the sort of timewasting Who Moved My Cheese? groovy CEO bullshit routinely found cluttering the shelves of every airport bookshop in the world. As well as being a pallid substitute for actual creativity – a device for making grey business wonks mistake themselves for David Bowie at his experimental peak – these books are the direct suit-and-tie office-dick equivalent of those embarrassing motivational self-help tomes that prey on the insecure, promising to turn their life around before dissolving into a blancmange of "strategies" and "systems" and above all excruciating metaphors.
Be honest. We've all read at least one of these personal empowerment classics. Or at least riffled through it in a bookshop. Any idiot could churn one out. In fact, let's write one now.
We'll call it Break in Your Lifehorse. Chapter 1: imagine your hopes and dreams are a galloping stallion, wild and untamed. Chapter 2: now picture yourself throwing a glowing lasso of light around its neck. Chapter 3: the dream stallion tries to jerk away from you, but if you dig in your heels and whisper at it, it will eventually calm down. Chapter 4: while it grazes, unsuspecting – leap on and saddle up! Chapter 5: ride it through the canyons of doubt and over the horizon of fear. Congratulations! You're achieve-anating! That'll be £10.99 thanks. Don't forget to visit our website to buy the official Lifehorse Grooming Kit containing exclusive workcharts and a guide to customising your saddle. Coming soon: Break in Your Lovehorse (relationship healage for the recently bewildered), and Break in Your Lifepony (successanising strategies for the under-12s.)
Comments
3) On balance, I'd say no.
Then don't do it.
Starbucks coffee
Starbucks.
"It is possible to close the door without slamming. Try it, and see how clever you are." Spike Milligan.
The irony of course that telesales staff are not allowed their phones on at work in case they get disturbed in their job.
I filled out a form on behalf of my son the other day and even had to scroll down for him. That made me feel even older.
You have your own lane? Not even our Queen has one of those!
Has anyone else heard that radio advert for Weightwatchers where a woman talks in between large noisy mouthfuls of toast?
Well pet hates of mine are noisy eaters, people who eat with their mouth open and people who talk with their mouth full, so this ad hits a proper nerve for me.
It's fucking disgusting.
Edit: in fact, it's just reminded me of this thread:
charltonlife.vanillaforums.com/discussion/57926/people-who-eat-with-their-mouth-open#latest
Queued for an hour this evening and paid £2 for the "privilege."
Thank God I don't have to do it every day it would literally drive me insane.
Tossing statements like 'we listen, we understand and will work with you to put together a bespoke solution dedicated to helping you integrate all your strategic objectives in a cost efficient and timely manor'
This sort of shite populates numerous websites of businesses across various sectors. Then people want to put a profile of themselves on their website with a title like 'creative marketeer with commercial nous'. Finished with a little bit of an insight into their personal life, they play the guitar and their favourite song is angels by Robbie Williams.
Keep it to yourself.
I work in this environment everyday. Basically I leave my soul at London Bridge at about 8am and pick it up again about 6pm every weekday.
"Nudge unit". "Big society". "Hug a hoodie". They sound like the titles of nauseating business-psychobabble books: the sort of timewasting Who Moved My Cheese? groovy CEO bullshit routinely found cluttering the shelves of every airport bookshop in the world. As well as being a pallid substitute for actual creativity – a device for making grey business wonks mistake themselves for David Bowie at his experimental peak – these books are the direct suit-and-tie office-dick equivalent of those embarrassing motivational self-help tomes that prey on the insecure, promising to turn their life around before dissolving into a blancmange of "strategies" and "systems" and above all excruciating metaphors.
Be honest. We've all read at least one of these personal empowerment classics. Or at least riffled through it in a bookshop. Any idiot could churn one out. In fact, let's write one now.
We'll call it Break in Your Lifehorse. Chapter 1: imagine your hopes and dreams are a galloping stallion, wild and untamed. Chapter 2: now picture yourself throwing a glowing lasso of light around its neck. Chapter 3: the dream stallion tries to jerk away from you, but if you dig in your heels and whisper at it, it will eventually calm down. Chapter 4: while it grazes, unsuspecting – leap on and saddle up! Chapter 5: ride it through the canyons of doubt and over the horizon of fear. Congratulations! You're achieve-anating! That'll be £10.99 thanks. Don't forget to visit our website to buy the official Lifehorse Grooming Kit containing exclusive workcharts and a guide to customising your saddle. Coming soon: Break in Your Lovehorse (relationship healage for the recently bewildered), and Break in Your Lifepony (successanising strategies for the under-12s.)