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Most irritating commentators

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    The good: BT use 606 presenter Darren Fletcher. A fan with knowledge of football. He is excellent. Professionals no doubt sneer as he has not played the game. Also, Ian Darke, Jonathan Pearce, Jim Beglin, Gary Neville and Clarke Carlisle.

    The worst: Clive T, Owen, Niall Quinn, Alan Green, Peter Drury and Jon Champion
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    Clive Tyddles
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    I love the way Merson calls Chelsea's Willian "Will.I.An" on GSS.
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    Jon Champion... Hate this bloke especially when he called Suarez a cheat against Mansfield when the ball hit his shoulder and he scored and for apparently gloating when he kissed his wrist cos he knew it had hit his arm (nothing to do with him doing his usual celebration)
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    I like Jake Humphrey. I think he's good at what he does. When the BBC got F1 back, picking JH to present was a master stroke - though admittedly this was maybe helped by being compared to the frankly amateur coverage provided by itv - he clearly does his homework so he can talk with authority but doesn't, as @Redrobo splendidly put it in the previous post, 'let the game get in the way of a few facts'.

    He's also not that young - he's 35, (hardly a teenaged oik) and he's been broadcasting for nearly 15 years. He's done his apprenticeship.

    Now, as for football commentators, I can't be doing with cushion-faced fucktard Clive Tyldesley, but frankly he's one of too many commentators who think it's their job to pepper us with trivia, pointless statistics or shit jokes. I think I've said this before, but it always reminds me of that exchange between radio DJs Alan Partridge and Dave Clifton in 'I'm Alan Partridge':

    "You and I both know, dead air is a crime!"

    I'm convinced some of these guys use this as a mantra and maybe on the radio it has some merit, but not on fucking telly - we've got pictures, we can cope without constant witless ramblings.

    There is an ideal balance that involves researching properly to provide genuine insight and reflecting the excitement of the event. Very few commentators do this well.
    I'm inclined to think the commentator should be like the ref - he's had a good game if you don't really notice him.
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    I've never agreed with so many posts before. I want to quote you all and say 'this'. The Alan Partridge reference is spot on.

    Andy Townsend died years ago. These days they use a soundboard of generic quotes. Tyldelsley just clicks in the closest relevant sound file. "Not for me, Clive" is top left.
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    Motson. All he says is "ooooooh so and so no ooooooh he had a shot there" by which time the balls already down the other end. Yeah cheers john we have eyes. Literally no point to him commentating.
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    I like Jake Humphrey. I think he's good at what he does. When the BBC got F1 back, picking JH to present was a master stroke - though admittedly this was maybe helped by being compared to the frankly amateur coverage provided by itv - he clearly does his homework so he can talk with authority but doesn't, as @Redrobo splendidly put it in the previous post, 'let the game get in the way of a few facts'.

    He's also not that young - he's 35, (hardly a teenaged oik) and he's been broadcasting for nearly 15 years. He's done his apprenticeship.

    Now, as for football commentators, I can't be doing with cushion-faced fucktard Clive Tyldesley, but frankly he's one of too many commentators who think it's their job to pepper us with trivia, pointless statistics or shit jokes. I think I've said this before, but it always reminds me of that exchange between radio DJs Alan Partridge and Dave Clifton in 'I'm Alan Partridge':

    "You and I both know, dead air is a crime!"

    I'm convinced some of these guys use this as a mantra and maybe on the radio it has some merit, but not on fucking telly - we've got pictures, we can cope without constant witless ramblings.

    There is an ideal balance that involves researching properly to provide genuine insight and reflecting the excitement of the event. Very few commentators do this well.
    I'm inclined to think the commentator should be like the ref - he's had a good game if you don't really notice him.

    "Cushion-faced fucktard" had me cracking up!
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    what about trevor 'dull as dishwater' francis, is he still a pundit? I've not heard him for some time - probably a good thing
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    Emma has to be up there. Used to really enjoy listening to Jonathan Pearce on Capital Radio, but on tv doesn't really work for me.
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    Niall fucking Quinn . Does my swede in especially when it's on a Sunderland game. So biased and just annoying in general
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    I find Alan Smith's voice irritating...
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    It's always refreshing when something new comes along to shake up your preconceptions - I honestly thought that there was no-one on earth more utterly irritating than Alan Green and Clive Tyldesley....until I heard Michael Owen.
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    Sorry, even the love child of Emma and Jamie Reid is a better prospect than Alan Green.
    Alan Green is enough to ask the BBC for a stewards enquiry regarding the licence fee, nothing to do with his Northern Ireland accent, everything to do with him being somebody you wouldn't want to see until next Tuesday.
    I think Millwall have a word for it, I wouldn't know:-)
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    Clark Carlisle, Michael Owen, Motson......but by far the worst for me is a non-football one. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Eric Bristow. Dear god he is absolutely excruciating.
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    cafcfan said:

    Don't understand the OP's objection to Clarke Carlisle who I think is excellent and provides some useful and insightful comments. It helps that he says things in properly constructed sentences too: thus highlighting what a useless idiot Andy "For Me" Townsend actually is.

    His voice gets on my tits. I also think he tries to hard to be intelligent. He is clearly a bright bloke but he gets very pretentious. All a matter of taste e.g. . I like Alan Green but can't stand Barry Davies. Each to their own.
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    I can't watch any football on itv with the sound up.

    The sensationalising and 'telling a story' of every dull moment by Clive Tlydesley and Andy 'listen' Townsend's innane bullshit makes me want to pour acid into my ears
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    Michael Owen.
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    I hope no-one mentions Adrian Chiles to Jimmy 85. It'll only upset him (again)!
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    edited January 2014
    Some of the descriptions of the commentators people hate have been first class.

    To my mind, I cannot deal with Michael Owen (who can? I mean, really). But I've also got no time for Jacqui Oatley; I find/found her painful.
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    Michael Owen.

    during a game the other day he said "weighty", "lofty" and "chesty" and had me convinced he was trying to name the 7 dwarves.

    was painting the other day in another room when the Blackburn v Man C game was on and could only hear the commentary. my god, it was the most benign drivel you could wish to hear and repition of comments does not do it justice (Owen and A N Other).
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    You should listen to the scorer on the BDO darts at the moment. Really annoying.
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    BDO is embarrassing full stop.Alan Green irritating enough and as pointed out on here who cares about his opinion. Ian Botham is rapidly going down the boring old fart route.Jonathon Davies,great player but his constant schreeching of "Numbers! Numbers!" does my nut!
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    Andy Townsend takes the cake for me. How he's cobbled together a career as ITV's main co commentator says mountains about ITV's coverage. Also how he talks about England objectively like he's an irishman, when he was born and bought up in maidstone. Football commentators are a bit crap, never heard one i like to be honest - maybe gary neville.

    Ian Botham is a good shout as well, completely up himself and knows nothing about the actual game of cricket, the amount of times he's said "I don't know why they've done that" - you're supposed to know why, you're the commentator!! Can see why he was such a dreadful captain. Sky sports cricket commentators are generally pretty crap, with the exception of perhaps bumble and holding and the highly knowledgeable atherton, its all just an old boys england captain club.

    Geoff Boycott I can't stand but at least, as some one else said, he's absolutely on the button on modern cricket and knows the game like no one else, so i can live with him.

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    Not being in England any more I don't miss any of the above mentioned...all are pretty much spot on. I particularly can't stand Clive T though.

    Luckily here in the states we have been blessed IMO with some decent pundits. NBC's coverage is headed up by Robbie Earle and Robbie Mustoe....I like them both.

    The real surprise for me is on FOX where Warren Barton is their main man, he is not afraid to say what he thinks and doesn't fall into many of the cliches ex-players seem to always want to use. After the United v Swansea game yesterday he was almost foaming at the mouth about how poor United were, calling them the worst United team he can remember. Refreshing.
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    Chiles had a nightmare reading the scores out the other day. He was a gibbering wreck. Much like his pathetic apology for the WC 2010 fiasco.
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    If Bumble did football commentary life would be so much sweeter
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    imagine having to listen to this Geordie tosser every week - i stopped my subscription to Gol TV because he ruins every game - we do get some shockers on this side of the Atlantic

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3x7gu-7WXvI
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    Oakster said:

    imagine having to listen to this Geordie tosser every week - i stopped my subscription to Gol TV because he ruins every game - we do get some shockers on this side of the Atlantic

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3x7gu-7WXvI

    Christ, that is fucking abominable.
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    The noise of the BDO dartboard is doing my head in.

    Along with that oddball Michael Owen.
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