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Being called a racist on Saturday.
Comments
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I had an incident in covid id forgotten my mask and guy took offence said he could ask me because he was a security business owner who had more authority then the police.
I asked for his SIA ref he said he did not actually work in the co op. I pointed out he had no authority then never mind more then the police.
He then called me unemployed i pointed out i was not.
he then said i was homosexual (his words) i said i was not but asked if he had a problem with gay people.
he went quiet and i said whats going to happen is you will leave the shop and shout something back.
He then shouted back I was racist. Shop staff were in fits of laughter.
I pass him on the street he says look im security whilst holding up a high visibility jacket. I stop and he says don't come close. I of course moved closer.
He then states don't touch his car. I state why would I.
He then calls me fat, I state he was right i could do with losing a few stone.
I walk away and he calls me racist again.
Some people love an argument not me of course8 -
Always take stuff posted on the internet with a pinch of salt.
But I'm sure the club (or the company) have a log somewhere of where people are posted around the stadium, so even if you don't know his name or ID number, you'd assume they'd be able to find out who it was.
Might be worth sending an email with it all written out, maybe getting your daughter to write a little at the bottom confirming what she heard and send it to the club.
Written emails are usually better than phone calls because of the paper trail.4 -
I was firstly stood on the stairs, halfway down, when the steward arrived I moved to the bottom whilst he stood in the middle, then moving back to the top, and then moving back to the middle to confront me more. Must have been aggressive if he came back down the stairs, never called for assistance if a steward was going to get attacked, and surely if you abused someone physically, got in their face or racially abused them what they have not have got you removed, i was only 8 rows from the tunnelCovered End said:Are you saying the steward was standing on one side of the stairs and you chose to stand level with him, blocking/partially blocking the stairs?
He asked you not to block/partially block the stairs, but you refused, because you wanted to stay there to wait for your daughter, whilst watching the game?
I'm not saying you did because what you are saying is not clear, but that's the way it reads to me.0 -
Leuth said:
I mean that the steward probably has been racially abused by fans quite often down the years, and saw something in your manner that triggered that response. Not necessarily your fault, but in these cases I think it's best to back down. It's a sad situation really. He probably has something not dissimilar to PTSD. Arguably that would make him unsuited to stewarding, but equally, everyone has the right to employment and it's probably something he's done for a while. As I say, in such cases, back down and avoid trouble and nobody gets yelled at.WhenIwasLittleBoy said:
Historical associations ? I have never seen the steward in my life, and don't eves sit in this block, went there for the second half so the kids can see their grandad.Leuth said:
Maybe not the other side to it so much as knowing how it actually went down. I suppose we have to take the narrator at his word and it does seem like the steward may have reacted based on historical associations rather than the reality of the situation, but if I started on about microaggressions we'd be here all day socafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
For the record i will swear on my kids life that the events are 100 per cent true, and i would welcome a sit down with the club, steward, his employee to get the facts put in place. The stigma that someone can call you racist when you haven't done nothing doesn't sit right with me, and the proof was in your initial response.
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Bearing in mind that being called a racist could get him banned from the club, he should not just accept it ... plus it doesn't sound like he was confrontational anyway.Leuth said:
I mean that the steward probably has been racially abused by fans quite often down the years, and saw something in your manner that triggered that response. Not necessarily your fault, but in these cases I think it's best to back down. It's a sad situation really. He probably has something not dissimilar to PTSD. Arguably that would make him unsuited to stewarding, but equally, everyone has the right to employment and it's probably something he's done for a while. As I say, in such cases, back down and avoid trouble and nobody gets yelled at.WhenIwasLittleBoy said:
Historical associations ? I have never seen the steward in my life, and don't eves sit in this block, went there for the second half so the kids can see their grandad.Leuth said:
Maybe not the other side to it so much as knowing how it actually went down. I suppose we have to take the narrator at his word and it does seem like the steward may have reacted based on historical associations rather than the reality of the situation, but if I started on about microaggressions we'd be here all day socafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
For the record i will swear on my kids life that the events are 100 per cent true, and i would welcome a sit down with the club, steward, his employee to get the facts put in place. The stigma that someone can call you racist when you haven't done nothing doesn't sit right with me, and the proof was in your initial response.22 -
It’s not about disbelieving, it’s just quite difficult to follow the story at times. Also when you open with “I’ve been insulted all my life”, while that may be true and it’s entirely possible that every single time has been completely wrong and unjustified, that statement needs more context. I also didn’t understand the toilet bit - “In which I took her”. Was he in the toilet or on the stairs? Because if he was in the ladies, then that changes the story slightly. Again, it sounds completely unacceptable and I’m sure the steward was in the wrong, no excuse for racism etc. but it’s not unreasonable to ask for the full, coherent story and that has nothing to do with whether you believe him or not.cafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
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How is that bait? I'm trying to be as fair as possible to all parties here. People aren't just assholes who accuse others of racism for a laugh. There's always some sort of genuine pain. It does sound like WIWLB wasn't being racist, but accidentally triggered some sort of memory or bad association for the poor steward. It's an unfortunate situation11
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Any possibility that the steward misheard what you originally said when explaining why you were on the stairs ? It’s the only rational explanation I can think of although it still doesn’t give reason to why the steward thought you was going to twat him.1
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It’s Adkins’ new formation for SaturdayDoctorCharlton said:What's WIWLB?6 - Sponsored links:
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Am I the only one who read WIWLB as “when it’s on the official site”5
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YesBR7_addick said:Am I the only one who read WIWLB as “when it’s on the official site”3 -
Has the steward worked at The Valley for years then mate?Leuth said:
I mean that the steward probably has been racially abused by fans quite often down the years, and saw something in your manner that triggered that response. Not necessarily your fault, but in these cases I think it's best to back down. It's a sad situation really. He probably has something not dissimilar to PTSD. Arguably that would make him unsuited to stewarding, but equally, everyone has the right to employment and it's probably something he's done for a while. As I say, in such cases, back down and avoid trouble and nobody gets yelled at.WhenIwasLittleBoy said:
Historical associations ? I have never seen the steward in my life, and don't eves sit in this block, went there for the second half so the kids can see their grandad.Leuth said:
Maybe not the other side to it so much as knowing how it actually went down. I suppose we have to take the narrator at his word and it does seem like the steward may have reacted based on historical associations rather than the reality of the situation, but if I started on about microaggressions we'd be here all day socafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
For the record i will swear on my kids life that the events are 100 per cent true, and i would welcome a sit down with the club, steward, his employee to get the facts put in place. The stigma that someone can call you racist when you haven't done nothing doesn't sit right with me, and the proof was in your initial response.
1 -
It is true. My partner of the last twenty seven years is African-American. The only racism we've experienced in that time has come from her family and her race. When making a valid point that can't be argued, I've been called a racist. The only way to deal with it is to laugh and walk away.Rothko said:
Keep telling yourself that and one that it'll be truelimeygent said:Being called a racist these days often means you've won the argument.6 -
Only with hard evidence of actual racism, which was obviously not present in this case.stonemuse said:
Bearing in mind that being called a racist could get him banned from the club, he should not just accept it ... plus it doesn't sound like he was confrontational anyway.Leuth said:
I mean that the steward probably has been racially abused by fans quite often down the years, and saw something in your manner that triggered that response. Not necessarily your fault, but in these cases I think it's best to back down. It's a sad situation really. He probably has something not dissimilar to PTSD. Arguably that would make him unsuited to stewarding, but equally, everyone has the right to employment and it's probably something he's done for a while. As I say, in such cases, back down and avoid trouble and nobody gets yelled at.WhenIwasLittleBoy said:
Historical associations ? I have never seen the steward in my life, and don't eves sit in this block, went there for the second half so the kids can see their grandad.Leuth said:
Maybe not the other side to it so much as knowing how it actually went down. I suppose we have to take the narrator at his word and it does seem like the steward may have reacted based on historical associations rather than the reality of the situation, but if I started on about microaggressions we'd be here all day socafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
For the record i will swear on my kids life that the events are 100 per cent true, and i would welcome a sit down with the club, steward, his employee to get the facts put in place. The stigma that someone can call you racist when you haven't done nothing doesn't sit right with me, and the proof was in your initial response.0 -
you're right but, as I said imo, Leuth was being shitty in implying that there was something to it rather than asking for a more coherent explanation.JaShea99 said:
It’s not about disbelieving, it’s just quite difficult to follow the story at times. Also when you open with “I’ve been insulted all my life”, while that may be true and it’s entirely possible that every single time has been completely wrong and unjustified, that statement needs more context. I also didn’t understand the toilet bit - “In which I took her”. Was he in the toilet or on the stairs? Because if he was in the ladies, then that changes the story slightly. Again, it sounds completely unacceptable and I’m sure the steward was in the wrong, no excuse for racism etc. but it’s not unreasonable to ask for the full, coherent story and that has nothing to do with whether you believe him or not.cafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo5 -
You know full well that even being called a racist can lead to all sorts of problems ... he is justified in following this up with the club.Leuth said:
Only with hard evidence of actual racism, which was obviously not present in this case.stonemuse said:
Bearing in mind that being called a racist could get him banned from the club, he should not just accept it ... plus it doesn't sound like he was confrontational anyway.Leuth said:
I mean that the steward probably has been racially abused by fans quite often down the years, and saw something in your manner that triggered that response. Not necessarily your fault, but in these cases I think it's best to back down. It's a sad situation really. He probably has something not dissimilar to PTSD. Arguably that would make him unsuited to stewarding, but equally, everyone has the right to employment and it's probably something he's done for a while. As I say, in such cases, back down and avoid trouble and nobody gets yelled at.WhenIwasLittleBoy said:
Historical associations ? I have never seen the steward in my life, and don't eves sit in this block, went there for the second half so the kids can see their grandad.Leuth said:
Maybe not the other side to it so much as knowing how it actually went down. I suppose we have to take the narrator at his word and it does seem like the steward may have reacted based on historical associations rather than the reality of the situation, but if I started on about microaggressions we'd be here all day socafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
For the record i will swear on my kids life that the events are 100 per cent true, and i would welcome a sit down with the club, steward, his employee to get the facts put in place. The stigma that someone can call you racist when you haven't done nothing doesn't sit right with me, and the proof was in your initial response.7 -
Thanks everyone._MrDick said:
YesBR7_addick said:Am I the only one who read WIWLB as “when it’s on the official site”1 -
No, I'm just saying that I'd rather know exactly what happened from all parties before making a judgement, and while it does sound like WIWLB was the wronged party, I'd still want to know what triggered the response, given the slightly garbled tellingcafcdave123 said:
you're right but, as I said imo, Leuth was being shitty in implying that there was something to it rather than asking for a more coherent explanation.JaShea99 said:
It’s not about disbelieving, it’s just quite difficult to follow the story at times. Also when you open with “I’ve been insulted all my life”, while that may be true and it’s entirely possible that every single time has been completely wrong and unjustified, that statement needs more context. I also didn’t understand the toilet bit - “In which I took her”. Was he in the toilet or on the stairs? Because if he was in the ladies, then that changes the story slightly. Again, it sounds completely unacceptable and I’m sure the steward was in the wrong, no excuse for racism etc. but it’s not unreasonable to ask for the full, coherent story and that has nothing to do with whether you believe him or not.cafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo0 -
You got any "hard evidence" for the arbiter(s) please mate?limeygent said:
It is true. My partner of the last twenty seven years is African-American. The only racism we've experienced in that time has come from her family and her race. When making a valid point that can't be argued, I've been called a racist. The only way to deal with it is to laugh and walk away.Rothko said:
Keep telling yourself that and one that it'll be truelimeygent said:Being called a racist these days often means you've won the argument.0 - Sponsored links:
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From speaking with the senior steward at the end who took down the statement, he stated he was new, therefore the argument of PTSD is hard to take and was only about mid 20s at most in age. He moved from the tunnel to the side of the stand at the end of the game as even gave a sarcastic smile as i left...Gribbo said:
Has the steward worked at The Valley for years then mate?Leuth said:
I mean that the steward probably has been racially abused by fans quite often down the years, and saw something in your manner that triggered that response. Not necessarily your fault, but in these cases I think it's best to back down. It's a sad situation really. He probably has something not dissimilar to PTSD. Arguably that would make him unsuited to stewarding, but equally, everyone has the right to employment and it's probably something he's done for a while. As I say, in such cases, back down and avoid trouble and nobody gets yelled at.WhenIwasLittleBoy said:
Historical associations ? I have never seen the steward in my life, and don't eves sit in this block, went there for the second half so the kids can see their grandad.Leuth said:
Maybe not the other side to it so much as knowing how it actually went down. I suppose we have to take the narrator at his word and it does seem like the steward may have reacted based on historical associations rather than the reality of the situation, but if I started on about microaggressions we'd be here all day socafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
For the record i will swear on my kids life that the events are 100 per cent true, and i would welcome a sit down with the club, steward, his employee to get the facts put in place. The stigma that someone can call you racist when you haven't done nothing doesn't sit right with me, and the proof was in your initial response.1 -
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What a load of cobblers.Leuth said:
I mean that the steward probably has been racially abused by fans quite often down the years, and saw something in your manner that triggered that response. Not necessarily your fault, but in these cases I think it's best to back down. It's a sad situation really. He probably has something not dissimilar to PTSD. Arguably that would make him unsuited to stewarding, but equally, everyone has the right to employment and it's probably something he's done for a while. As I say, in such cases, back down and avoid trouble and nobody gets yelled at.WhenIwasLittleBoy said:
Historical associations ? I have never seen the steward in my life, and don't eves sit in this block, went there for the second half so the kids can see their grandad.Leuth said:
Maybe not the other side to it so much as knowing how it actually went down. I suppose we have to take the narrator at his word and it does seem like the steward may have reacted based on historical associations rather than the reality of the situation, but if I started on about microaggressions we'd be here all day socafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
For the record i will swear on my kids life that the events are 100 per cent true, and i would welcome a sit down with the club, steward, his employee to get the facts put in place. The stigma that someone can call you racist when you haven't done nothing doesn't sit right with me, and the proof was in your initial response.17 -
Royal Society for the Protection of DyslexicsDoctorCharlton said:What's WIWLB?17 -
Well, even if he's new to stewarding and relatively young, he may have still had some bad experiences in a public-facing role. It may be that he's unsuited to stewarding due to an unstable temperament, but none of us are really going to have any idea of what was really going on in his head, which is why I'd want to hear his side of it. N.B. I really don't think you were being consciously racist and I'm not here to condemn you. We're all human beings who deserve empathy, even Huskaris0
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Leuth said:Well, even if he's new to stewarding and relatively young, he may have still had some bad experiences in a public-facing role. It may be that he's unsuited to stewarding due to an unstable temperament, but none of us are really going to have any idea of what was really going on in his head, which is why I'd want to hear his side of it. N.B. I really don't think you were being consciously racist and I'm not here to condemn you. We're all human beings who deserve empathy, even Huskaris
I never knew you cared so much
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but you do think he was being racist?Leuth said:Well, even if he's new to stewarding and relatively young, he may have still had some bad experiences in a public-facing role. It may be that he's unsuited to stewarding due to an unstable temperament, but none of us are really going to have any idea of what was really going on in his head, which is why I'd want to hear his side of it. N.B. I really don't think you were being consciously racist and I'm not here to condemn you. We're all human beings who deserve empathy, even Huskaris
shitty for shittys sake14 -
That seems perfectly reasonable approach, but what you did was to speculate about why someone might have behaved as they did and proceeded to advise on what WIWLB should have done.Leuth said:
No, I'm just saying that I'd rather know exactly what happened from all parties before making a judgement, and while it does sound like WIWLB was the wronged party, I'd still want to know what triggered the response, given the slightly garbled tellingcafcdave123 said:
you're right but, as I said imo, Leuth was being shitty in implying that there was something to it rather than asking for a more coherent explanation.JaShea99 said:
It’s not about disbelieving, it’s just quite difficult to follow the story at times. Also when you open with “I’ve been insulted all my life”, while that may be true and it’s entirely possible that every single time has been completely wrong and unjustified, that statement needs more context. I also didn’t understand the toilet bit - “In which I took her”. Was he in the toilet or on the stairs? Because if he was in the ladies, then that changes the story slightly. Again, it sounds completely unacceptable and I’m sure the steward was in the wrong, no excuse for racism etc. but it’s not unreasonable to ask for the full, coherent story and that has nothing to do with whether you believe him or not.cafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
Good luck with getting it sorted WIWLB. For the record, I know it's not what you'll wan't to hear, but I'd advise lurking outside the ladies in future rather than arranging to meet on the stairs.2 -
Can't wait to see what he gets accused of next home game!Stig said:
That seems perfectly reasonable approach, but what you did was to speculate about why someone might have behaved as they did and proceeded to advise on what WIWLB should have done.Leuth said:
No, I'm just saying that I'd rather know exactly what happened from all parties before making a judgement, and while it does sound like WIWLB was the wronged party, I'd still want to know what triggered the response, given the slightly garbled tellingcafcdave123 said:
you're right but, as I said imo, Leuth was being shitty in implying that there was something to it rather than asking for a more coherent explanation.JaShea99 said:
It’s not about disbelieving, it’s just quite difficult to follow the story at times. Also when you open with “I’ve been insulted all my life”, while that may be true and it’s entirely possible that every single time has been completely wrong and unjustified, that statement needs more context. I also didn’t understand the toilet bit - “In which I took her”. Was he in the toilet or on the stairs? Because if he was in the ladies, then that changes the story slightly. Again, it sounds completely unacceptable and I’m sure the steward was in the wrong, no excuse for racism etc. but it’s not unreasonable to ask for the full, coherent story and that has nothing to do with whether you believe him or not.cafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
Good luck with getting it sorted WIWLB. For the record, I know it's not what you'll wan't to hear, but I'd advise lurking outside the ladies in future rather than arranging to meet on the stairs.11 -
Oh but when I do that I get called a pervert….Stig said:
That seems perfectly reasonable approach, but what you did was to speculate about why someone might have behaved as they did and proceeded to advise on what WIWLB should have done.Leuth said:
No, I'm just saying that I'd rather know exactly what happened from all parties before making a judgement, and while it does sound like WIWLB was the wronged party, I'd still want to know what triggered the response, given the slightly garbled tellingcafcdave123 said:
you're right but, as I said imo, Leuth was being shitty in implying that there was something to it rather than asking for a more coherent explanation.JaShea99 said:
It’s not about disbelieving, it’s just quite difficult to follow the story at times. Also when you open with “I’ve been insulted all my life”, while that may be true and it’s entirely possible that every single time has been completely wrong and unjustified, that statement needs more context. I also didn’t understand the toilet bit - “In which I took her”. Was he in the toilet or on the stairs? Because if he was in the ladies, then that changes the story slightly. Again, it sounds completely unacceptable and I’m sure the steward was in the wrong, no excuse for racism etc. but it’s not unreasonable to ask for the full, coherent story and that has nothing to do with whether you believe him or not.cafcdave123 said:
Why?Leuth said:Kinda want the other side to this story
Do you find it hard to believe that someone was wrongly accused of racism or are you suggesting WIWLB did do something racist?
comes across quite shitty imo
Good luck with getting it sorted WIWLB. For the record, I know it's not what you'll wan't to hear, but I'd advise lurking outside the ladies in future rather than arranging to meet on the stairs.
Edit: Huskaris too quick.7
